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Backstage Experts

How to Get Laid (Spiritually)

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How to Get Laid (Spiritually)

There are a lot of scientific benefits to having an active sex life.

It decreases stress. Boosts immunity. Increases self-esteem.

So what does this have to do with our acting and our life?

Well, everything it seems.

The qualities that are induced when we engage in intimacy—we feel alive and connected, our self-esteem and confidence soars, we stop focusing on the end results (unless we suffer from performance anxiety!), we feel passionate and joyful and fully expressed—are the same qualities that we are seeking in our work. And our lives.

So what if we gave ourselves a spiritual and metaphorical lay every day?

We have to do this for ourselves.

When things fall apart: When the girl you like doesn’t text you back. When the casting director says you’re not getting a callback. When your agent dumps you. When you totally bomb an audition. When you want to quit acting and move back to Kansas. When you stand in line at the bank and get stressed by the amount of time it’s taking to cash a check. When things don’t go your way, you have to spin a new story.

When you can tell a new story—rewrite how you perceive events that are occurring to you—you get connected to your own lay.

“What can I find joyful about this experience that’s not going my way?” is a good question to ask yourself. Or maybe it’s an experience you can use to cultivate compassion or patience or surrender control. If you’re willing to look, you’ll find something positive about an experience that you generally judge (at first) as negative.

We burn so many minutes in our daily lives complaining about things and telling negative stories, or playing the victim, or imagining doom-and-gloom scenarios that never serve us.

Replace that useless energy with the obvious benefits of a spiritual lay.

When we stay in the feelings that feel good, we not only are more creative, productive, and energized but also become a magnet to those good-feeling things as well. More people like us. Our work gets better. We have more fun. We spend less time worrying.

We need to self-administer our own love hormone. We can’t wait for someone else to do it.

More oxytocin.
 More self-love.

Then you realize you don’t need a job or a lover or a callback or a booking or an agent to make you feel good about yourself.

You just need a spiritual lay every day.

Anthony Meindl is an award-winning writer, director, producer, and Artistic Director of Anthony Meindl's Actor Workshop (AMAW) with studios in Los Angeles, New York, London, and Vancouver. It was voted the Best Acting Studio in Los Angeles by Backstage in 2011 and 2012 (Best Scene Study and Best Cold Read).

Meindl's first feature film, “Birds of a Feather,” won the Spirit of the Festival Award at the 2012 Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival, and he won Best Director at the Downtown Film Festival Los Angeles. He is a regular contributor to The Daily Love, Backstage, and various spirituality podcasts. He has been featured in ABC News, Daily Variety, LA Weekly, The Hollywood Reporter and the CW KTLA. He is also the author of the new best-selling book, “At Left Brain Turn Right,” which helps artists of all kinds unleash their creative genius within. Check out Meindl's free smartphone app on iTunes. 'Follow Meindl on Twitter @AnthonyMeindl.

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