Secret Agent Man

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  • Advice

    Let's Get Real About Reality

    Would you like to know my definition of a loser? It's someone who blames others for his or her own shortcomings.

  • Advice

    When the Situation Gets Sticky…

    Remember, James Bond is licensed to kill. When you have representation, you're licensed to say, "Call my agent."

  • Advice

    Santa Claus Ain't Coming to Town. You Are!

    This is the time of year when agents start a betting pool to see which actors will remember to give us a little something as a thank-you for all the hard work we do.

  • Advice

    Waiting and Waiting and…

    Waiting is a basic component of this business, and that applies to all of us, including yours truly. But it would be a major mistake if you didn't offset all that waiting with a little forward.

  • Advice

    Hit the Road, Jack

    Sometimes I wonder if actors are born with a genetic mutation that forces them to get in their own way. It's the only possible explanation for all the self-destructive behavior.

  • Advice

    Pop Quiz

    I want you to put yourself in this girl's position. You don't have an agent and you desperately want one. This man has offered to sign you. But the guy makes your skin crawl. So what would you do?

  • Advice

    Stuck in the In-Between

    Actors spend the majority of their time preparing for the moment when they can perform or auditioning for those who can grant them that moment.

  • Advice

    Rage On!

    It's hard to keep your passion alive when you're surrounded by such negative energy. That's why you have to rage against the dying of the light.

  • Advice

    A Halloween Tale

    They belong to agents and managers and casting directors. These people used to be my friends. Now they're holding torches, chanting my name like it's a dirty word.

  • Advice

    L.A. Noir

    It's 10:29 a.m. The city is Beverly Hills. I'm your narrator, Secret Agent Man. Those who know me say I'm a good man in a bad town. Those who don't wish they did. These are my stories.