Theater: Plays

Production: 'A Cuckold' (See all 8 roles)

Erin (Supporting)

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Production Details

Casting a staged reading of "A Cuckold," an original 80-minute play written by Zen Anton through the Downtown Art's Writers Project. The play is a comic film noir take on domestic ...more

Get more details on 'A Cuckold', including pay, union details, full description, rehearsal & production dates & locations, script sides, other roles, and more.

Seeking

Female, ages 20-45, All Ethnicities

Role Description

Erin: (Supporting) is married to Harvey and now faces the repercussions of being stuck with someone whose company she detests.

Auditions

Seeking submissions from: New York, NY Sign up or Log In to apply.

Scene 3 from 'A Cuckold' by Zen Anton

Scene 3
(HARVEY, NARRATOR and MOUNTAIN walk towards the exit of Toys’R’Us.)

NARRATOR
Mountain’s thoughts raced faster than a whipped horse: Was Harvey the owner of the underwear? Had he slept with Chelsea? Would it be wrong to bludgeon him to death with the jar of lead free paint from Toys’R’Us?
(MOUNTAIN politely holds open the door for HARVEY.)

HARVEY
Thanks, man. (Claps MOUNTAIN on the shoulder.) We’re parked right around the corner. I’m sure Erin will be glad to see you. (They walk towards the car. ERIN sits in the driver’s seat.) When was the last time we had you and Chelsea over for dinner anyway?

MOUNTAIN
Two weeks ago, I think.

HARVEY
That’s crazy. You really should come out tonight with the guys, Mountain.
(HARVEY gets into the passenger seat and NARRATOR and MOUNTAIN get in back.)

MOUNTAIN
Hi, Erin. It’s nice to see you.

ERIN
Hi, Mountain.
(HARVEY kisses ERIN.)

HARVEY
Hey, babe.

NARRATOR
Mountain was distracted from violent thoughts by his intense dislike of people using the word “babe.”

ERIN
Do you have the directions, Harvey?

HARVEY
No, you have them.


ERIN
No, Harvey, you have them.

HARVEY
Baby, you told me you had them.

NARRATOR
“Babe” of course being the less creepy cousin of, “baby.” Why would you want to call your sexual partner the name you call your child?

ERIN
We talked about it this morning. You told me you’d get them.

HARVEY
No, Erin, you told—

ERIN
Mountain, do you have the directions?

MOUNTAIN
Uhm, yeah, I have the address.

ERIN
Great. I’ll put it in the GPS.

MOUNTAIN
Do you need it for Gretchen’s party too?

ERIN
No, that one I already have.

HARVEY
Mountain, wait till you hear this GPS’s voice. Sexiest robot I’ve ever heard.

MOUNTAIN
(Reading from his phone) So, we’re going to 78th street between 10th and 9th. Right next to the pizza place.

HARVEY
I’ve asked Erin to role-play as the car but she always says no. (Laughs.)

NARRATOR
Mountain wondered if it was possible that Chelsea had actually cheated on him with someone who laughed at their own jokes.

MOUNTAIN
You guys are going to Gretchen’s birthday party after Samantha’s right?

HARVEY
Yeah.

(Silence.)

MOUNTAIN
What did you two wind up getting her? I’m guessing not a Barbie.

HARVEY
Erin picked out this tacky dress that apparently Gretchen will adore.

ERIN
She told me she wanted it last month.

MOUNTAIN
Chelsea picked out some clothing for her too. A sweater. (Beat.) It’s pink.

HARVEY
How was your day, babe?
(ERIN turns on the radio.)

MOUNTAIN
Uhm, Harvey, do you like pink?

HARVEY
What?

MOUNTAIN
Do you like pink?

HARVEY
The color?

MOUNTAIN
Uhm, yes.

HARVEY
No, no I don’t.


MOUNTAIN
Why?

HARVEY
It’s a feminine color.

MOUNTAIN
So you don’t work out in pink clothing?

HARVEY
Of course not. Jesus, how gay do you think I am?

ERIN
Harvey!

HARVEY
What?

ERIN
You’ve got to stop saying that.

HARVEY
Saying what?

ERIN
“Gay.”

HARVEY
Why?

ERIN
It’s offensive.

HARVEY
Babe, if something is gay, it’s gay. Nothing offensive about it.

ERIN
Just - never mind, Harvey. Never mind. (Beat.) The building is next to the pizza place, right, Mountain?

MOUNTAIN
That’s what the directions say.


NARRATOR
Mountain saw his chance to call Harvey’s bluff slipping away. He decided to throw caution to the stale New York City wind.

MOUNTAIN
Would you wear pink clothing if it was, “sweat-wicking?”

HARVEY
Mountain, what are you talking about?

MOUNTAIN
Uhm, I—

HARVEY
You’re not doing some early birthday present shopping for me are you?

MOUNTAIN
Yep, you caught me.
(HARVEY laughs and reaches back to clap MOUNTAIN on the knee.)

ERIN
He doesn’t own any pink clothing, Mountain.

HARVEY
And I’d like to keep it that way.

NARRATOR
Harvey’s alibi checked out and the car continued to trundle along, carrying with it a confused Mountain and the aura of marital bliss.