Theater: Plays

Production: 'A Cuckold' (See all 8 roles)

Harvey (Supporting)

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Production Details

Casting a staged reading of "A Cuckold," an original 80-minute play written by Zen Anton through the Downtown Art's Writers Project. The play is a comic film noir take on domestic ...more

Get more details on 'A Cuckold', including pay, union details, full description, rehearsal & production dates & locations, script sides, other roles, and more.

Seeking

Male, ages 20-45, All Ethnicities

Role Description

Harvey: (Supporting) is the type of man who makes sexist comments claiming they're jokes; the type of man who makes fun of his wife in front of guests. Simply put, he's the type of man who adjusts his genitals while sitting at the dinner table. He is also under the illusion that Mountain is one of his best friends.

Auditions

Seeking submissions from: New York, NY Sign up or Log In to apply.

Scene excerpt: Mountain & Harvey

MOUNTAIN
I’m not sure how comfortable I feel here, Harvey.

HARVEY
I’m not saying, I’m just saying, but check out that beauty over there. Looking that good there isn’t a need for a degree.

NARRATOR
Mountain wondered if Harvey was the source of his headache.
(BARTENDER comes back to the table with drinks.)

HARVEY
Thanks, babe.

NARRATOR
Mountain thought that yes, Harvey could very well be the reason for the pain.
(BARTENDER gives them their drinks. HARVEY rapidly downs both shots.)


HARVEY
Well? Aren’t you gonna taste yours?

MOUNTAIN
(Takes a tentative sip) This tastes like cat urine.

HARVEY
(Laughs) Just keep drinking. It’ll make it better.
(MOUNTAIN looks around the room.)

MOUNTAIN
This place smells like failed dreams. (Beat.) When are the rest showing up?

HARVEY
Actually, they’re not.

MOUNTAIN
What do you mean?

HARVEY
It’s just you and me tonight.

MOUNTAIN
What, why?

HARVEY
To spend time together, brother!

NARRATOR
Mountain again tasted his drink to avoid responding to Harvey. This time he caught the faint hint of rubbing alcohol.

HARVEY
We don’t do this enough, you know? Just you and me. (Beat.) Look, it’s just—

NARRATOR
Apparently Harvey was determined to talk no matter how long Mountain stared at the fly drowning in his cup.

HARVEY
I need someone to talk to right now.

MOUNTAIN
(Grudgingly responds.) About?

HARVEY
Last night I was on Facebook while Erin was asleep and this girl, Mary, from high school friended me.

MOUNTAIN
And?

HARVEY
And I had had such a crush on this girl, Mountain! But did I ask her out? Nope. You know why? Fear of rejection. In high school they should tell you to kiss all the girls you can.

NARRATOR
Mountain decided that this story needed more alcohol.
(MOUNTAIN takes another gulp.)

HARVEY
And I’m thinking, would Erin mind that me and Mary got together last week for brunch? She’s actually the manager of one of my gym’s branches. I just, you know, wanted to know what I could have done back then. It’s not like I’m bored of Erin or anything, just you know. (HARVEY motions to BARTENDER.) I’m not saying, I’m just saying. Funnily enough, her doorman, Rafael, we both knew him in high school. We used to be pals, man. (HARVEY unbuttons the collar of his shirt.) Gretchen’s party was such a bust. Surrounded by all her twenty year old friends. Can you think of anything more pathetic? (Beat.) And Erin was all tense in the car.

MOUNTAIN
I hadn’t noticed.

HARVEY
Sometimes man, sometimes I just don’t get her. And then she acts like it’s my fault.

BARTENDER
(Coming over) Can I get you anything else?

MOUNTAIN
No, thank you. (BARTENDER starts walking away.)

HARVEY
And then to make things worse, she’s starting to say how I don’t pay her enough attention. Doesn’t she get that I need to go and be a man for a while and—

MOUNTAIN
(Shouting to BARTENDER) Another one!

HARVEY
(Clasps MOUNTAIN on the shoulder.) That’s what I’m talking about, Mountain. Put a bit of hair on that chest. Anyway, as I was saying, you get back from the office and you need to cool down. Don’t you get that way with Chelsea?

NARRATOR
Harvey, if you only knew. Or if you knew like Phillip knew.

MOUNTAIN
Stop.

HARVEY
Excuse me?

MOUNTAIN
I can’t... I can’t do this anymore.

HARVEY
Do what?

MOUNTAIN
I can’t listen to you chatter about your cross-fit training, or all the girls you could have kissed in high school. No more. Not tonight. (BARTENDER delivers drink.)

HARVEY
Man, where did this come from? We’ve been friends for forever.

NARRATOR
The thought of being friends with Harvey for eternity struck a chord in Mountain.

MOUNTAIN
We’re not friends, Harvey! (MOUNTAIN downs his second drink.)

HARVEY
What do you mean?

MOUNTAIN
I mean that ever since we met in the granola section, I’ve hated you.


HARVEY
“Hated me?” What are you talking about! We went to that yoga retreat just last month where we ate breakfast together everyday!

MOUNTAIN
And I daydreamed about shoving forks into my eyes for something better to do than listen to you blather.

HARVEY
(Laughs) Mountain, I think that’s enough alcohol for you. You’re talking crazy.

MOUNTAIN
No. I can’t lie to you any more, Harvey. The way your mouth opens and closes over and over and over again makes me want to throw a puppy at a baby bird.

HARVEY
Whoa, brother, whoa I—

MOUNTAIN
You’re always going on about men not being true men, or how you’re not homophobic just, you know, think pink is a gay color. But you bring me to a strip club. The gayest place alive. A place where men sit around and have erections together. Does that make sense to you, Harvey? Oh, and the way you never shut up about how boring your wife is! Divorce her already. In fact, I hope she does that to you. You deserve it. I mean, I’m not saying, I’m just saying!

NARRATOR
Mountain started to take into account just how much bigger Harvey was than himself.

MOUNTAIN
I’m sorry, Harvey. This is day has been awful for me.

HARVEY
Erin wants a divorce.

MOUNTAIN.
Oh. I, uhm, didn’t mean the things I just said.

HARVEY
Yes, you did.



HARVEY
I’m gonna go now, Mountain. Clearly you aren’t the friend I thought you were. Let me pay this bill. (Starts putting on his coat.)

MOUNTAIN
(Motioning for him to stay) I’m sorry, Harvey. Again, I didn’t mean—

HARVEY
Brother, don’t insult my intelligence

MOUNTAIN
Look, ok, I’ve never liked you. But I don’t see why that should affect our friendship. What happened?