Theater: Plays

Production: 'A Spirit Over Dollsport' (See both roles)

Various roles (Supporting)

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Production Details

Casting a staged reading of “A Spirit Over Dollsport,” for the Emerging Playwright Competition. Director states: “When she loses her parents, then her beloved doll, a rebellious o...more

Get more details on 'A Spirit Over Dollsport', including pay, union details, full description, rehearsal & production dates & locations, script sides, other roles, and more.

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Males & Females, ages 18-64, All Ethnicities

Role Description

Various roles: (Supporting) Dr. Carter: Female/Male (30-60s) The no-nonsense director of the orphanage. Must sing
Mr. Piney: Male (20-60s) The well-dressed gangster porcupine doll with a street brogue.
Leftie: Male (20-30s) Mr. Piney's suspicious bodyguard
Bobo: Male (20-50s) The clumsy clown. He's never, ever gotten a trick right. He dreams of being Batman.

"A Spirit Over Dollsport"

“A SPIRIT OVER DOLLSPORT”

Act 1, Scene 1

SETTING: Lake Luster. Summer.

At Rise: Scrim Lake view in. “Dolls For Sale”
Music under. Members of the cast stand in silhouette: Picnics, fishing, Frisbee, etc. DOLL VENDOR walks on pushing toy cart.

DOLL VENDOR
(To audience)
Hey! Look at this cute doll. Do you want to take it home? Hey you...with the pretty smile. Wanna doll?

SONG: “DOLLS FOR SALE!”

CHORUS (sung)
DOLLS FOR SALE! DOLLS FOR SALE!
MY BEAUTIFUL DOLLS
AND, OH, OH, OH,
OH, OH, OH,
OH, OH, OH,
I KNOW THEM WELL.

Song fades out.

DR. EDMUND WASHINGTON enters. He puts the last box into the car. He’s handsome. Confident. He WHISTLES as he charges toward the house.

WHINING, ANGEL WASHINGTON, 8, a precocious darling with huge eyes that drain you, emerges from the house. CLEO WASHINGTON, a picture of loveliness, holds ANGEL’S hand.

EDMUND/CAP
Aww, I was afraid of this!

ANGEL
Mommy, I don’t want to go!
CLEO/LILLIE
Now, Angel? We've gone over this.
ANGEL
I’m not going! You’re taking me away from my friends!
EDMUND
(Leans down) You’ll make new friends, pudding.
(Grabs her hand. She breaks away. Dashes into the house.)
CLEO (tiredly)
Honey, I’ll go. (ANGEL returns, clutches, MRS. PEASLEY, the
cutest doll you've ever seen.)
ANGEL
Hey??? We almost forgot, Mrs. Peasley!! (CLEO and EDMUND
chuckle.)

Scene 2

Scene: The WASHINGTON’S car. Minutes later.

At Rise: EDMUND drives. CLEO is next to him. She
waves at the house.
CLEO
Well, Family, this is it! (EDMUND starts the engine.
Angel, strapped in her car seat, hugs MRS. PEASLEY. They pull off.)

ANGEL (sadly)
Bye house!
RADIO ANNOUNCER: "...Heavy traffic on Route 14 today." (The dialogue continues over the shots of the countryside, including the warning sign which reads, "BRAKE FOR ANIMALS”)

EDMUND (boastful)
There’s no richest like the ones I have. I’m a happily married man!

SONG: “LOVING”

EDMUND (sung)
LOVING FAMILY LIFE
WHAT A WONDEROUS THING TO SHARE

ANGEL (sung)
IT’S THE GREATEST FEELING IN THE WORLD
CLEO (sung)
NEVER THOUGHT WE’D LOVE SO MUCH
OUR LIL PUMPKINS GROWING UP
EDMUND (sung)
ABOUNDING, ASTOUNDING MAN I AM
CLEO (sung)
LIFE’S A SHREWD ADVENTURE
WITH WINDING TWISTS AND TURNS
SOMETIMES A ROAD MAY LEAD NOWHERE
ANGEL (sung)
IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER
AS LONG AS WE’RE TOGETHER
ALL (sung)
OUR LOVE WILL CONQUER ANYTHING
EDMUND (sung)
LIVING A HAPPY LIFE
IT’S THE ONLY WAY WE KNOW
ANGEL (sung)
IT’S A JOY TO SHARE AND SHOW OUR LOVE
CLEO (sung)
WHO’D THOUGHT WE’D FEEL THIS WAY
OUR LOVE GROWS STRONGER DAY BY DAY
EDMUND (sung)
ABOUNDING, ASTOUNDING MAN I AM

EDMUND
You're going to love our new house, Cupcake!
ANGEL (amazed)
I am?!
CLEO (laughs)
Of course you are, baby! It's in this cute little town called Dollsport! (ANGEL whispers in MRS. PEASLEY’S ear.)
EDMUND
Pumpkin? They have this incredible toy store that takes up an entire block---
ANGEL (amazed)
It does?! What else do they have in Dollsport, Daddy?



EDMUND
Uh, let's see, Sweetpea. They've got this huge park where you can ice skate in the Winter...swim all day in the Summer and the best part is---

ANGEL
What Daddy? What?

EDMUND (chuckles)
Christmas comes once a month--

ANGEL
Wow!!
(EDMUND looks back at ANGEL just as a DEER rushes onto the road forcing cars to BRAKE. We hear HORNS BLOW, CARS SKID. A TRUCK ROARS toward the WASHINGTON’S.)

CLEO (screams)
Edmund?!!
(EDMUND blows HORN. SLAMS BRAKES. The SOUND of a CRASH is heard.)
Scene 3
Scene: Hospital Room. Days later.

At Rise: ANGEL bandaged from head to toe
Lies motionless. MRS. PEASLEY is tucked under her arm. The MONITOR beeps.
ANGEL (whimpers)
Mommy! (Pause) Daddy! Daddy! (Pause) Nooo! (A DOCTOR checks ANGEL’S vitals. A NURSE looks on.)

NURSE/ANNIE
Doctor? Were you able to reach anybody?

DOCTOR/JACK (shakes head)
Poor thing, she doesn’t have anyone now.

NURSE/ANNIE
Except for that precious doll.
(She adjusts MRS. PEASLEY, as the LIGHTS DIM.)
I wish we could do something.


Scene 4

Scene: Dollsport. A month later.

At Rise: An Enchanted Village: SIDEWALKS trimmed in
gumdrops. GINGERBREAD HOUSES with thick, gooey rooftops. Lip-smacking CANDY SCULPTURES. MARSHMALLOW-CAPPED mountains.

MATILDA, with an emblem that reads: DCS (DOLLSPORT CHILDREN’S SERVICES) stops near a sign that says: DOLLSPORT ORPHANAGE)
MATILDA
Here we are, Missy! It's not the palace. But, it sure beats a winter on the street. Yeah, it beats a winter on the street. (clutches coat) Oooh, it sure is cold out here!

(Studies the building. It's a shabby place. Patched up windows. Worn out shingles. Squeaking shutters.

The DOOR opens, DR. CARTER, an imposing woman, appears and waves.)
DR. CARTER
Hey, Matilda! Child, come on in and rest your feet! Oooh, it’s freezing out here!

(ANGEL, her foot in a CAST, struggles to balance onto her CRUTCHES.)

MATILDA
Humph! It looks like the little damsel needs some help---
ANGEL (Curtly)
---Leave me alone, you ole porcupine. I can do it myself!
(Holds back tears. With MRS. PEASLEY in her BACKPACK, hobbles up the walkway.)

MATILDA
You’d be out on the streets...in the cold. If not for me. Ole Porcupine...Ha! (Argues off. Lights dim out.)

Scene 5

Setting: Dollsport Orphanage.

Scene: Xmas time. Dreary.
At Rise: Dayroom. Morning.

The worse season that the orphanage has seen in years and, it shows: Mismatched tinsel drapes from the walls. A sparse Christmas tree flickers as WENDY,a vision of hard work and effort, organizes MEDS. Xmas music plays under. She sings, “Jingle Bells”
ANGEL, in a weather beaten coat, with MRS. PEASLEY strapped in her backpack, tip toes towards the door.

WENDY
Where do you think you're going, Miss Lady?
ANGEL
None of your business!
WENDY
Good God, Angel! That attitude is the reason why the Martin’s brought you back! And, the Petersons.
ANGEL
--But, they were mean to me!

WENDY
Huh-hum! That’s what you always say. Look! No one is going to tolerate such disrespect! No matter how desperately they want a child! Keep it up and you’ll end up here...like me. Too old to be adopted!(ANGEL tries to intervene.) No,no, no! Not a word! There’s a new family coming to see you today. The husband’s a Surgeon, like your father was—

ANGEL
My parents are dead!! Okay? End of story!
(Exits, SLAMS door. WENDY follows. Opens door.)
WENDY (yells)
You be back on time. 3 p.m. And, not a minute later! Do you hear me, Angel?!!! Angel??? Do you hear me?!!!! (Walks back) Hail Mary, Mother of Grace. (Sighs) Help me, Lord!

Scene 6

Scene: Maxx & Sons Toy Store. Xmas time.

At Rise: DELLA MAXX,60s, The Queen of Mean. Boorish.
Frumpy. Tough as stale gum, drags ANGEL by
the ear.
DELLA
Did you not understand me? No money! No toys!

ANGEL
Owwww! Owww! (DELLA opens door.)
DELLA Now out, you heathen! (Tosses ANGEL out.) And, take your trash with you! (Hurls MRS.PEASLEY out. Slaps palms.)

(We see ARTHUR MAXX,60's. Wimpy, bumbling, with a bald head, horn-rimmed glasses; hardly dangerous, perhaps too meek. He sounds like his nasal’s are congested.
ARTHUR
Hey? What’da you doing, Della, she’s just a little kid. You can’t keep treating our customers like---!

DELLA
Shut up and get back to work! (Stares him down.)

ARTHUR (cowers)
Yes, yes, yes, Dear. What--whatever you say, Dear.
(Lights down, up on ANGEL outside.)

ANGEL (cries)
Ooooh, Mrs. Peasley, you've got a boo-boo!
(Shoves STUFFING back into MRS. PEASLEY. Closes eyes. Crosses fingers. Pulls the doll's STRING.)
MRS. PEASLEY
Ma--ma!
(ANGEL kisses MRS. PEASLEY. CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS/CHORUS point at them. Smile. Giggle. "OOO" and "AAAh!"
ARTHUR peers through WINDOW at CROWD. Waves.)

SONG: “ALL THEY GET FOR XMAS IS A GRIN”

ARTHUR (sung)
WHEN YOU SEE LIL NOSES PRESSED AGAINST THE WINDOWPANE
WE ALL KNOW THAT THE SEASON IS NEAR. BUNDLED UP IN THEIR SCARVES AND THEIR FUNNY LITTLE HATS
WHAT’S YOUR WISH MY DEAR?
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THOSE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN THROUGH
DOES ANYBODY CARE? SOME ARE HUNGRY. SOME ARE CRIPPLED.
SOME WILL NEVER KNOW LOVE.
ANGEL (sung) IT’S A TIME, A TIME TO GIVE
IT’S A TIME, A TIME FOR LOVE
T’IS A TIME TO SPREAD GOOD CHEER
WHAT WILL SANTA BRING THIS YEAR
CHORUS (sung) AND IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE CITY
A TIME TO SPREAD HAPPINESS AND CHEER
BUT ALL THESE KIDS HAVE FOR CHRISTMAS
IS A GRIN
ANGEL (sung)/ CHORUS (hums)
WON’T YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART
INSTEAD OF HATING, TRY LOVE
T’IS A TIME FOR YULETIDE CHEER
WHAT WILL SANTA BRING THIS YEAR?
AND IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE CITY
A TIME TO SPREAD HAPPINESS AND CHEER
CHORUS (sung) BUT ALL THESE KIDS HAVE FOR CHRISTMAS
IS A GRIN X2
IS A GRIN
(With MRS. PEASLEY in her backpack, ANGEL dawdles home.)
ANGEL
No one's ever gonna hurt you again, Mrs. Peasley. I promise!
(Passes a sign that reads: "WELCOME TO DOLLSPORT,
THE FRIENDLIEST PLACE ON EARTH!")

Scene 7

Scene: The Orphange. 4:15 p.m.

At Rise: ANGEL enters. Removes BACKPACK. SNEEZES.

DR. CARTER (o.s.)
Angel?! Is that you?!
(WENDY rushes on. Looks at ANGEL with disdain.)

WENDY (shouts)
She’ll be in, in a minute! (Lowers voice) Just look at you, you’re a mess! (Yanks ANGEL’S cap off, grabs MRS.
PEASLEY from backpack) What’s on your face?
(Spit cleans ANGEL’s face, leads her into DR.
WELLINGTON’S OFFICE.)

The Wellington’s have been waiting for over an hour! They’re moving to Africa. If you’re lucky you may get to go.(Pauses) So don’t blow it!
(Door opens and DR. CARTER’S office rolls in. DR.
CARTER is seated behind the desk. In front of her sits DR. HOWARD WELLINGTON,40s, serious, well-groomed; and, his wife, VANESSA. She’s on the chubby side, sophisticated in her dress and coiffure; but, quite adorable.)

DR. CARTER (excitedly)
Here she is! (beat) Angel, this is Dr. Wellington and his wife, Vanessa.

ANGEL
Pleased to meet you. (beat) I think. (The WELLINGTON’S stand, chuckling, touched by ANGEL.)
VANESSA (howls)
Did you hear her, Howard? (mimics ANGEL) Pleased to meet you. I think! (Laughs) Aren’t you the cutest lil thing! Kinda reminds me of myself... Huh, Howard? Hahahaha!

(ANGEL makes no reply. She stands beside VANESSA, wearing a weak smile.)
HOWARD
Don’t be shy. Have a seat, lil lady. Tell us all about yourself.

(LIGHTS DIM, then come up on WENDY and DR. CARTER, seated outside the office; they hop up when VANESSA runs out.)

VANESSA (Screams)
We are out of here! (beat) C’mon Howard, let’s go!

(WENDY and DR. CARTER watch helplessly while VANESSA argues with HOWARD. Before Dr. Carter can intervene, Vanessa storms out door.)
DR. CARTER
Aaah...Mrs. Well—-- (befuddled) Mrs. Wellington!!
(HOWARD tips his hat. Follows VANESSA off. Dumbfounded, DR. CARTER, turns to ANGEL. She plops down on sofa.)
Angel? What in heavens name did you do?
ANGEL
I didn’t do anything, I swear!
DR. CARTER
Oh, don’t give me that song and dance, Miss Innocent Face. I want an answer, now!! Right now!

ANGEL (reluctantly)
All I said was— (whispers)

DR. CARTER (to ANGEL)
Oh, no! I’ve heard enough! You have no idea what you’ve done! All you had to do was be polite. Show some courtesy. And, act like you need a happy home! Was that so hard? Ooooh, you are on restriction. Tomorrow, no toy store.

ANGEL
No toy store? But, Dr. Carter that’s not fair!

WENDY
Fair?! Who said life was going to be paved with chocolate pudding! Deal with your situation and stop being a pain! (pauses) Oh, and, you won’t be going to the skating rink either. Right, Dr. Carter?

(ANGEL tries to protest, “But..but” Dr. CARTER raises
her hand.)

DR. CARTER
Do you understand us, Angel? (ANGEL shakes head
reluctantly) Good. Now, go to your room!

(LIGHTS dim out and come up on HOWARD and VANESSA strolling off.)

VANESSA (cries, devastated)
Howard? (beat) Was she right? (beat) Do I look like an eggplant? Waa!

Scene 8

Scene: The Orphanage. Game room. Next day.
At Rise: Bad-ass KIDS race through the room like they've been injected with Chocolate Fondue. A group of CHILDREN gather around ANGEL. Some point their fingers, others lick out their tongues. The SQUEALS become ear-shattering.
CHILDREN
Angel can’t go skating! Angel can’t go skating!...

(BILLY THE BULLY, age 9, waves MRS. PEASLEY over his head.)

ANGEL
Give her back!! (stretches to reach the doll, but can’t.)

BILLY (mimics)
Give her back!

(The CHILDREN laugh. BILLY tosses MRS. PEASLEY over ANGEL’S head. DANIEL, age 8, with arms outstretched, misses the catch.

MRS. PEASLEY smashes into the Christmas tree. Shoes
in, head out.

ANGEL rescues MRS. PEASLEY.)
ANGEL
You’re a bunch of meanies!
(The CHILDREN burst into LAUGHTER. WENDY rushes on.)
WENDY
What’s going on in here? Huh?
(BILLY and DANIEL stand side-by-side, with
"Angelic looks" plastered on their faces. DR. CARTER enters, looks around room.)

DR. CARTER Who's responsible for this Desss...truction?! (Silence)
I want an answer, now! (The CHILDREN point to ANGEL.) ANGEL (flabbergasted)
They’re liars and, they started it too!!
(The kids ad lib they’re defense)
DR. CARTER
Quiet! (They stop talking) Upstairs, all of you! Get ready for the field trip! And...not...a...peep!

(The CHILDREN file out taunting ANGEL. DR.CARTER exits
off.)
WENDY (to ANGEL) Dr. Carter warned you, Angel. Anymore Mrs. Peasley mayhem and you'd be restricted to your room! Right???
ANGEL (pleads)
But, I didn’t do anything, Miss Wendy! Tell her. Cross my heart. Hope to die. Believe me, please!

(WENDY throws her hand up. Lights fade. Spot up outside. In shadows, CAROLERS sing.)

SONG: "ALL THEY GET FOR CHRISTMAS IS A GRIN”

CAROLERS (sung)
WON’T YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART
INSTEAD OF HATE, TRY LOVE
T’IS A TIME FOR YULETIDE CHEER
WHAT WILL SANTA BRING THIS YEAR?

Scene 9
Scene: Maxx & Sons Toy Store. Later

At Rise: He is plastered against the wall while DELLA plows into him like a trash compactor.

DELLA
You treat those dolls like they’re people!

ARTHUR
Yes.
DELLA (threatening)
Yes?!! Did you just say... yes????

ARTHUR (cowardly)
Yes. I mean, ah, ah, no. I mean. Lovie, all I said was-



DELLA
Those toys mean only one thing to us, Arthur! M-O-N-E-Y!
ARTHUR
But...but...but. (Hangs head) Yes, dear.
Scene 10

Scene: Street, outside DR. CARTER’S WINDOW.

At Rise: ANGEL leaps from FIRE ESCAPE, hits the ground, loses backpack, fishes MRS. PEASLEY out of the snow. Shivering, she stands under the window, listening:

A SPOT up in Dr. CARTER’S OFFICE. WENDY’S eyes are on DR. CARTER. She hangs up phone.

WENDY
Well? So, what did they say, Dr. Carter?
DR. CARTER
Great God, Almighty! I did it, Wendy! (Exhales) Our prayers have finally been answered!
WENDY
I was really worried.
DR. CARTER
So was I. This Orphanage is hanging on the wings of this recession. It’s been hard on everybody. Anyways, I told the Wellington’s about Angel’s parents...and, how she’s never adjusted. She’s a stubborn little rascal. Anyways, the Wellington’s have decided to adopt her.
WENDY (excited)
Dr. Carter, that’s wonderful news. This money is going to save the orphanage! (babbles) That’s fantastic. I mean, more than fantastic. I mean, it’s like a miracle!

DR. CARTER
Yes, and the Wellington’s will be here this evening! Tell Angel to pack her things. I’ll work on the paperwork.

(SPOT down. LIGHTS up on ANGEL outside window.)

ANGEL (to MRS. PEASLEY) We'd never be happy with the Wellington’s, Mrs. Peasley. They don’t care about us.(pause) Nobody cares about us!

Scene 11

Scene: Maxx & Sons Toy Store. Later

At Rise: ARTHUR strings lights in the display window.
He waves at SHOPPERS.

ARTHUR (to DELLA)
Glory be, the sale hasn’t even started. Just look at
that crowd! There’s Amy, Kevin and Lil Jesse. Oh, goodness
Martha’s brought the twins! Coochie-coochie-coo!

DELLA
Look Charmer, you make sure that everyone of those
brats buys something! (Crosses off.)

ARTHUR
Whatever you say, Boo-bear.
(to audience)
Fiddle-fi fiddle-fum. I’d give away the whole store, if I had my way. That is, if I had my say. Oooh, well.

(Whistles as he dusts the displays. A SIGN with BLINKING LIGHTS says: “DOLLS FOR SALE!”
Below, in a display is, "THE AMERICAN SPIRIT COLLECTION (SC)":
JACK-IN-THE-BOX, a cynical, cranky, grouch. His voice sounds like a foghorn.
LILLIE, the bride. Rosy cheeks. Painted lips. Curly blonde hair. Demanding.
BOBO, the clown, a clumsy sort who's never perfected a trick.
ANNIE, the beautiful black rag doll. If low self esteem could be weighed in gold, she'd be set!
CAP, the wooden soldier. A scrawny, stuttering, scary-cat with a plastic gun.
(SPOT on ANGEL. She sneaks into store, hides. Suddenly, the TOYS come alive in DANCE. SPOT down. Up on... DELLA and ARTHUR.)

SONG: “DOLLS FOR SALE!”

ARTHUR (sung)
DOLLS FOR SALE! DOLLS FOR SALE!
MY BEAUTIFUL DOLLS
AND, OH, OH, OH, I KNOW THEM WELL.
WE’VE GOT SOME THAT CAN MUMBLE.
A FEW THAT GRUMBLE,
AND ONE WITH A WISHING WELL.
GEE-EE-EE I THINK THEY’RE SWELL!

THERE’S LARGE ONES AND SMALL ONES
AND INFANTS TO TEND TO, AND SOME THAT CAN DO FLIPS.
WE’VE GOT TOUGH ONES AND ROUGH ONES
AND SOME THAT SHAKE THEIR HIPS.
AND ONE THAT SINGS AND SWAYS!
(Exits, with duster)
DOLLS (sung)
BROKEN HARMLESS, SUBDUED AND CALM
BROKEN HARMLESS, SUBDUED AND CALM
BROKEN HARMLESS, SUBDUED AND CALM
WON’T YOU TAKE US HOME?

BROKEN HARMLESS, SUBDUED AND CALM
BROKEN HARMLESS, SUBDUED AND CALM
BROKEN HARMLESS, SUBDUED AND CALM
PLEASE TAKE US HOME!
DELLA (sung)
DOLLS FOR SALE! DOLLS FOR SALE!
MY VALUABLE DOLLS
AND, OH, OH, OH, I KNOW THEY’LL SALE!
I’VE GOT SOME THAT MUTTER,
A FEW THAT STUTTER,
AND ONE THAT CAN GROW HAIR.
OH, OH, OH, I’LL MAKE A BALE!

THERE’S RICH ONES AND POOR ONES
AND INFANTS TO TEND TO
AND ONE THAT SAYS HER NAME.
I’VE GOT STRONG ONES AND FIRM ONES.
AND SOME THAT SHAKE THEIR HIPS.
AND ONE THAT SINGS ALL DAY!

DOLLS (sung,chorus)
WE WANT TO BE HUGGED, WE NEED TO BE LOVED
WE WANT TO GO HOME WITH YOU!
WE WANT TO BE BOUGHT BY YOU!
(The DOLLS freeze.)
DELLA (points to box)
Arthur?!! Take that darn thing and put it away!
(Slams JACK’S lid. ANGEL, finds a new hiding place.)
ARTHUR
Ahhh, yes, dear.
DELLA
Oooh, this hideous thing is in the way! (shoves ANN. She
slumps over. Eyes LILLIE.)
This bride won't sale because no one will pay, if it were left up to me, I’d throw her away!
ARTHUR
Throw her away? But, Pudding-Smoo! I made that doll with my bare hands! And that one...and, that one too!

DELLA
Um-huh. I know Arthur. I know... (ARTHUR follows her.)

LILLIE (whispers)
Boo-hoo-hoo! Throw me away? They can't throw me away! I haven’t found a man, yet!!

ANN
Don't cry, Lillie. (points to ARTHUR) He won't let her throw you away. We’ll have to trust him.

CAP
Beware! Trus-trus-ing grown ups will never, ever do!

JACK
Aww, I only trust Santa. If you’d stop listening to Cap, maybe we could find him!!!

ARTHUR (to DELLA)
Sugar Flakes, you've lost the true meaning of Christmas.
I don’t know how or why, but it’s gone.
(DELLA grunts, crosses to CUSTOMER. ARTHUR carries box to other room.)
JACK (pops up)
I'm fed up with that man's greedy wife! Money, money, money! That’s all she ever talks about!

BOBO
Money, money, money! That’s all that hag dreams about!
(JUGGLES and fails)
CAP
I bet..ah..if..if..If we were..ah.. modern dolls, we’d...we’d be selling like flapjacks. Right, Guys?
ANN (pouts)
When we find Santa, I’m gonna tell him I want a smaller nose, thinner lips. Oh, and, rosy cheeks just like Lillie’s! Then someone will buy me and take me home.

LILLIE (mortified)
But, Annie? You’re the most gorgeous doll in the store!

JACK
Aww! I need St. Nick to get me out of this god ugly box! So, I can be free...from all of you!

LILLIE
Jack? What a horrible thing to say.

BOBO
Waita minute now. He has a point. With a little space, maybe we all could have some fun.

JACK
That’s what I was saying. You know, like live a little---
(He spots ANGEL, playing.)
Hey? Maybe she’ll buy us---
ANN
Shhh! Someone's coming!

(They FREEZE. FRANCIS and her son, PHILLIP, enter. DELLA waits, impatiently. PHILLIP skips down aisle.)
DELLA
You’ve been looking around for quite a while. Have you made up your mind yet?


FRANCIS (annoyed)
Nope. Still looking.
DELLA
Well, how about a truck? (DELLA follows.) I know! Robot Man. I’ve got two left. He’s flying off the shelves...
(Shoves ROBOT MAN in FRANCIS’ face.)
Every little boy wants one of these!

(LIGHTS DIM OUT, comes up on PHILLIP studying the SC display. He sneers at LILLIE.)

PHILLIP
You're dumb-looking! (Yanks LILLIE’S veil.)Where’s your dumb husband, huh? (Laughs)

LILLIE
Stop it! (Hits him with her bouquet)

PHILLIP
Owww! That hurt! Not a bad swing for a girl!
(Crosses to CAP, winds his KEY too
much. CAP takes a few steps, his motor goes WHIRRR! CAP becomes motionless. He proceeds to re-wind Cap. CAP moves forward, bends over, stuck.) Stupid! (pulls BOBO’s cap down.)

BOBO (flabbergasted)
Hey?!!!
ANN
(PHILLIP pokes Ann’s eye, pulls her hair.)
Ooooh! Somebody help!
(PHILLIP laughs. Throws PUNCHES at JACK, who dodges them.)
JACK
Whoa! Whoa! (ANGEL catches PHILLIP’S arm. JACK slams lid.)

ANGEL
What do you think you're doing?
PHILLIP
Nothing, just playing.

ANGEL
Hitting. Yanking. Abusing toys? That’s more than playing!

PHILLIP
Keep it moving, stank breathe, or I’ll call my mom!
ANGEL
Go ahead. Call her. Then I can tell her that you’re destructive...cruel and terribly rude! Well? Go on---

(LIGHTS fade down on PHILLIP, and come up on FRANCIS, carrying a FIRE ENGINE to the cash register.)

FRANCIS
Don’t you think these prices are high?
DELLA
High? Why that's absurd! Look at the price of plastic and paint---

FRANCIS
All I’m saying is---
DELLA
---What about shipping and freight? After all, no one’s forcing you to buy our toys!

(Lights fade down on DELLA and come up on ANGEL, re-arranging LILLIE’S veil.)

ANGEL
Oh, you poor things.
(Spots Lillie’s price tag. Gasps.)
$1,000?! This is crazy!
(Crosses to CAP---puts his gun back in his hand, straightens his collar...spots his price tag. Gasps...)
Oh, my! $900.00! No one can afford to buy you at these prices! (Back to Phillip, she hears:)

PHILLIP
They're just stupid dolls that nobody cares about!
(ANGEL doesn’t answer.)

FRANCIS (o.s.)
Phillip? Baby, I’ve got your toy. Let's go!

(PHILLIP follows ANGEL, then, tip-toes over to her. Unnoticed, PHILLIP pulls MRS. PEASLEY out of the backpack and, skips away tossing her up and down.)
PHILLIP
You’re the corniest doll I’ve ever seen!
(Twirls MRS. PEASLEY over his head: Higher and higher...faster and faster, until... She soars.)

MRS. PEASLEY I looove yoUUUuuu!

(Lands wedged between the BEANIE BABIES and SUNSHINE Dolls. PHILLIP looks at the stuffing along the floor and, skips away. ANGEL: Straighten BOBO’S cap. Opens JACK’S lid. Sets ANN upright.)

PHILLIP (o.s.)
Mama...wait!!! I want my toy! (LIGHTS slowly down.)

Scene 12

Scene: Maxx & Sons. Doll Section.

At Rise: INVENTORY TIME. DELLA,clipboard in hand, counts...scans...fingers the merchandise. ARTHUR enters. Pushes cart filled with toys.

ARTHUR
Where do you want these, Sweet Pea?
DELLA
I want the Hula Hoops here and, let's see...ah...ah...
SONG: “SHE THINKS SHE’S WISE”

ANGEL (sung)
OH ME, ME, OH, MY, MY, OH LOU MY DARLIN’
CHILDREN HAVE PECULIAR WAYS
ARTHUR (sung)
OH ME, ME, OH, MY, MY, OH LOU MY DARLIN’
SOME KIDS WILL NEVER CHANGE
ANGEL (sung)
A LITTLE GIRL READ, IN A MARVELOUS BOOK
DELLA (sung)
RICKETY, RACKETY BOOK!
LILLIE (sung)
OF PIXIES THAT RESIDE IN THE DELL BY THE BROOK

DELLA (sung)
RICKETY, RACKETY BROOK!
JACK (sung)
OH ME, ME, OH, MY, MY, OH LOU MY DARLIN’
ARTHUR (sung)
HOW QUICK WE FORGET WE WERE SMALL
OH ME, ME, OH, MY, MY, OH LOU MY DARLIN’
DELLA THINKS SHE’S WISE ‘CAUSE SHE’S TALL
CHORUS (sung)
SHE THINKS SHE’S WISE, SHE THINKS SHE’S WISE, SHE THINKS SHE’S WISE
ANGEL (sung)
SHE THINK SHE’S WISE ‘CAUSE SHE’S TALL!
CHORUS (sung)
SHE THINKS SHE’S WISE, ‘CAUSE SHE’S TALL!

(DELLA spots ANGEL, tying CAP’S shoestrings.)

DELLA (to ARTHUR)
What is that ragamuffin doing here? The child hasn't a dime! Not a penny!
ARTHUR
She means no harm, Turtle Dove. Let her play.
DELLA
Play?! Ha! Well, we'll see about that! (Grabs broom)
ARTHUR
Della?! (With broom overhead, DELLA swats at ANGEL.)
DELLA
Out! Out, you tramp! Out, I say!!
ARTHUR
Della, stop it! You might hurt her!

ANGEL
Okay! Okay! I'm going! (Opens door. CHIMES) You’re the meanest, ugliest woman in Dollsport! (Exits.)
ARTHUR
Della?! That wasn't nice! (chuckles) I guess she told you!

DELLA
That dreadful child! The only nice I want to hear is ching! ching! Now get to work!