Film: Short Films

Untitled Comedic Short Film

Casting notice expires: May 30, 2014

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Company

WBB Productions
Jonathan Allen, casting dir.

Production Description

Casting a comedic short which tells the story of two mismatched roommates living in a rent-controlled apartment in Brooklyn, struggling with each other and paying the rent every month.

Rehearsal and Production Dates & Locations

Rehearses May 26-30; shoots May 31-June 9 in Williamsburg, Brookyln.

Compensation & Union Contract Details

Pays $100/day, plus travel and food voucher provided. Producers plans to apply for a SAG Short Film Agreement.

Auditions

Seeking submissions from: Brooklyn, NY Sign up or Log In to apply.

MARVIN (30's - early 40's)

Born in Brooklyn’s Marcy projects, Marvin Jones proudly boosts he was the first guy to ever rob rapper Jay Z back in da day. A reformed career criminal now dedicating his life to healthy living via his organic cooking business ‘Marvin’s Homemades’, Marvin’s thug past sometimes resurfaces, despite his best intentions of staying straight. Think Denzel Washington's Detective character in 'Training Day' or Ice T type of attitude.

SIDES: MARVIN

INT. APARTMENT 3F - FRONT DOOR - MORNING
Door opens revealing TWO WHITE GIRL SCOUTS (10) selling Girl Scout cookies.
WE REVEAL: MARVIN (African-American, a life long career criminal now rehabilitated, or at least trying to).
WE INTERCUT BETWEEN MARVIN AND THE TWO GIRL SCOUTS.
GIRL SCOUT #1
(smiling)
Hi, we’re selling Girl Scout cookies for our troupe. Would you like to help us and buy some?
Marvin stares at the Girl Scouts for a moment.
GIRL SCOUT #2
We’re raising money for our summer camping trip.
Marvin takes one of the Girl Scout cookie boxes.
MARVIN
(off the box)
You know how much sugar is in these cookies?
The two Girl Scouts look at each other.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
A lot. I ain’t giving my black ass diabetes so you two can hang out all summer with some other white girls.
The two Girl Scouts stare at Marvin.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
Look, I ain’t blaming you guys. But you should know that the Girl Scouts of America is pimping you two out. Ya’ll basically cookie prostitutes selling diabetes in a box.
The Girl Scouts look at each other.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
Sorry, ladies.
Marvin hands the Girl Scouts their cookies back.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
Try apartment 4B. He white and fat. He’ll buy your diabetic cookies.

DINA (28 - 32)

Dina Miller is a New York City public school guidance councilor who would rather be doing anything but her job, which consists of listening to her yuppie Park Slope students complaining about their “White Problems”. She recently came out of the closet to her Long Island Jewish family. Dina is a serial dater with a memorable story to go along with each break-up. She and Omar are close friends and depend on each other for advise and guidance.

SCENE

EXT. BROOKLYN HOUSE - STOOP - LUNCH TIME
Dina and Omar sit watching children play during recess from across the street of her school. They are eating.
OMAR
I haven’t seen Park Slope parents that collectively angry since that child molester tried moving into the area.
DINA
Yeah, Roger. Nice guy. You would never think he liked raping little children.
Beat as they eat.
OMAR
Since we’re on the subject of unwanted sexual advances. Let me ask you something. You use the steam room at your gym. Do women mess around in there?
DINA
Like sex?
OMAR
Yea. Or other stuff.
DINA
No. Not really. At least I’ve never seen it happen. Why? What’s going on in your gym’s steam room?
OMAR
Hand jobs.
DINA
Did you get a hand job?
Omar fidgets nervously, not answering.
DINA (CONT’D)
Why am I not surprised.
OMAR
What’s that supposed to mean?
DINA
All you do is jerk off. Geez, when was the last time you went on a date? I keep telling you to get out there and find yourself a healthy relationship.
OMAR
Healthy relationship? You sleep with more women than Bill Clinton.
DINA
Okay, so let me guess, you’re confused and you’re wondering if you’re gay.
OMAR
I can never be gay. I’m a chronic masturbator. If I was ever with another man I’d feel like I was cheating on myself. No, I just feel...used. This hand job guy is a womanizing Don Juan.
THE SCHOOL YARD’S BELL RINGS SIGNALING AN END TO RECESS.
DINA
I gotta go back to work. I’ll catch you later Slippery Pete.
Dina gets up and crosses over to her school. She turns around to Omar and mimes giving a hand job.

RALPH (28 - 40)

Ralph is a suave, British transplant to New York City. Works as a gym manager.

INT. BROOKLYN GYM - MANAGER’S OFFICE - DAY
Ralph and Omar talk.
RALPH (British Accent)
My dear man. This is shocking news. Are you alright?
OMAR
Physically I’m fine. Mentally I may be scarred for life. Getting an unexpected hand job will do that to a man. Here is my lawyer’s card. Expect a call from him.
Omar hands Ralph a business card.
RALPH
(off business card)
Your lawyer is a Chinese podiatrist?
OMAR
He practiced law in the Chinese province of Shandong. He’s a pitbull.
RALPH
See here, I am certain the two of us can come to some sort of mutual agreement about this rather unfortunate situation.
A SEXY SWEDISH MASSAGE THERAPIST walks into the office and grabs some papers off Ralph’s desk. Omar is smitten.
RALPH (CONT’D)
(off Omar’s attraction)
I have a resolution. Call it a settlement offer. Inga, do you mind staying for a bit?
INGA
(Swedish accent)
Yes, Mr. Ralph.
Inga turns to Ralph and Omar.
RALPH
What if I offer you the blissful massage services of our Swedish angel Inga for say twenty free sessions?
Inga shoots Omar a smile. He smiles wide.
OMAR
Make it twenty one and you got yourself a deal.
RALPH
Splendid!
Ralph and Omar shake on the deal. Omar gets up.
RALPH (CONT’D)
Ah, Inga, give our friend Omar here the ‘Swiss Alps Special’.
Ralph winks at Inga. She understands.

MOSHE (30's - 40)

Moshe Zalman, owner of Marvin and Omar’s Williamsburg apartment building. Always looking to expand his real estate empire which includes buildings and property across Brooklyn, he also operates many side businesses. The son of a Rabbi, Moshe belongs to the powerful Satmar Hasidim sect in Brooklyn. Moshe’s dream is to one day evict Marvin and Omar from apartment 3F and rent it at market rate.

SCENE

INT. APARTMENT 3F - KITCHEN - DAY
Marvin and Moshe count their profit windfall.
MARVIN
(places money on table)
Yo, I told you, the weed sells itself.
MOSHE
(Brooklyn Jewish accent)
This can be big business for us.
MARVIN
Look, I can only do some much in this little kitchen of mine. We’re gonna need to expand our operation elsewhere.
MOSHE
What do you need?
MARVIN
Aight, I know how you Jews feel about ovens, but we’re gonna need some industrial sized ones. And workers.
MOSHE
(thinking)
I get you your ovens. But no Jewish workers. We use Mexicans.
MARVIN
Cool. But there’s a problem. I might be going away for a parole violation for choking out this guy unless he decides to drop the charges. Maybe I should pay him off with some of our cash.
Marvin flashes some profit money.
MOSHE
No, I have a cheaper way.

GIRL SCOUT (8 - 10 years old)

EXT. APARTMENT 3F - FRONT DOOR - MORNING
A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
INT. APARTMENT 3F - FRONT DOOR - MORNING
Door opens revealing TWO WHITE GIRL SCOUTS (10) selling Girl Scout cookies.
WE REVEAL: MARVIN (African-American, a life long career criminal now rehabilitated, or at least trying to).
WE INTERCUT BETWEEN MARVIN AND THE TWO GIRL SCOUTS.
GIRL SCOUT #1
(smiling)
Hi, we’re selling Girl Scout cookies for our troupe. Would you like to help us and buy some?
Marvin stares at the Girl Scouts for a moment.
GIRL SCOUT #2
We’re raising money for our summer camping trip.
Marvin takes one of the Girl Scout cookie boxes.
MARVIN
(off the box)
You know how much sugar is in these cookies?
The two Girl Scouts look at each other.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
A lot. I ain’t giving my black ass diabetes so you two can hang out all summer with some other white girls.
The two Girl Scouts stare at Marvin.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
Look, I ain’t blaming you guys. But you should know that the Girl Scouts of America is pimping you two out. Ya’ll basically cookie prostitutes selling diabetes in a box.
The Girl Scouts look at each other.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
Sorry, ladies.
Marvin hands the Girl Scouts their cookies back.
MARVIN (CONT’D)
Try apartment 4B. He white and fat. He’ll buy your diabetic cookies.
Marvin closes the door.
The Girl Scouts walk away.
GIRL SCOUT #1
What’s a pimp and a prostitute?
GIRL SCOUT #2
I don’t know...

MIGUEL (35- 45)

Miguel and Larry, life partners, soul mates, come from opposite cultural barriers. Miguel is the son of Cuban refugees, while Larry is the son of a Southern Baptist family. They met at one of Miami’s hottest gay clubs and have been together ever since. They both own and operate a catering service named after each other.
SCENE
Watching with jealousy next door to Marvin’s tent are MIGUEL AND LARRY (married gay couple). Their food tent ‘Miguel and Larry’s Fresh Eating’ has zero customers.
MIGUEL
(Cuban accent)
Papi I don’t understand why those people keep buying his food and not ours.
LARRY
(Southern accent)
Maybe they feel sorry for him. You know, the “I am Slave” syndrome.
MIGUEL
I’m a Cuban refugee. If anybody should get sympathy it’s me.
Miguel pulls out a bullhorn.
MIGUEL (CONT’D)
(through bullhorn)
Hello people. I came to America on a raft. Buy my oppressed carrot muffins. Help liberate Cuba!
Marvin turns to Miguel and Larry.
MARVIN
Yo, you’re bothering my customers.
LARRY
You better stop Miguel.
MIGUEL
It’s a free country. Freedom of speech.
Marvin resumes selling when Miguel starts again.
MIGUEL (CONT’D)
(into bullhorn)
Come try Miguel and Larry’s homemade apple cider. It’s so delicious.

LARRY (35-45)

Miguel and Larry, life partners, soul mates, come from opposite cultural barriers. Miguel is the son of Cuban refugees, while Larry is the son of a Southern Baptist family. They met at one of Miami’s hottest gay clubs and have been together ever since. They both own and operate a catering service named after each other.
SCENE

EXT. WILLIAMSBURG STREET - EVENING
Miguel (wearing a neck brace) walks with Larry.
MIGUEL
I think they were Communist Cuban Jews sent by the government to silence me.
LARRY
(Southern accent)
I didn’t even know there were any Jews in Cuba.
MIGUEL
Me either.
LARRY
And all they said is if you talk to the police about anything they’ll kill you?
MIGUEL
Yes, Papi.
LARRY
I’m just glad you’re safe.

PARK SLOPE PARENTS (various ages)

Assorted roles for parents of elementary school students living in Park Slope.

SIDES

EXT. ELEMENTARY PUBLIC SCHOOL 29 - DAY
DINA (30), the school’s guidance councilor, walks out wearing headphones and is faced with an angry mob of school parents who have organized a protest against her.
Their signs read: ‘Worlds worst guidance councilor’ ‘Our children deserve better’ ‘Fire Dina Miller’.
The parents voice their displeasure to Dina.
OVERWEIGHT SCHOOL MOM
You should be ashamed of yourself!!!
HYSTERICAL SCHOOL MOM
How can you tell my suicidal daughter to read Sylvia Plath?!!!
IRATE DAD
My son is not retarded he’s autistic!!!