This isn't a new problem -- I've been through it before -- but now that I'm documenting my career for you guys, I'm more aware of it. In the past I wouldn't be held accountable for my blankness, but now I'm published in Back Stage! Often when I write (well) I'm not thinking -- I'm just letting my fingers go; I notice this similar feel in a lot of my good auditions. When I'm not overly conscious and/or in my head, I tend to feel like I did better. But some days I go into an EPA, and doing that two-minute monologue feels more uncomfortable than when Ralphie wore the pink bunny suit in "A Christmas Story."
But I'm in a profession where if you aren't feeling it, that doesn't matter -- you still have to do it. Anyone who knows me would tell you I can relate anything to baseball, so here goes. Some days (insert best pitcher in baseball here) strikes out everyone. He's untouchable, and yet other days, even the worst player in the league can take him out of the ballpark. As bad as I want to be lights out every audition, fact is, some days I'm going to stink. I've learned to enjoy those days when it comes easy. When I'm connected, my writing is effortless and I can bring people to tears with my words. As for those days when I feel like I'm trying harder than hell, I try to forget them and hear those words they say in baseball: "Get 'em next time." If that fails, I remember the words uttered to me on my first day of theater school by the director of Circle in the Square: "Extraordinary years are made up of ordinary days." Most days are in fact ordinary. Follow me @timintravia.
