Actor-playwright David LeBarron set out to dramatize the entire Trojan War in 60 minutes, with only three characters: Achilles' mother, the sea goddess Thetis (Rebecca Norris); the slave Briseis (Shanna Beauchamp), fought over by Achilles and Agamemnon; and the slave Acheanus (LeBarron). And after beginning the piece as a campy, cynical send-up of the Greek myths, LeBarron then expects us to take them seriously. But it's hard to care about Achilles' great love for Patroclus when we've just been told that he "fucked Troilus to death." Theatre of NOTE, 1517 North Cahuenga Blvd.; Hollywood. Sat., June 25, noon; Sun., June 26, 4 p.m. sexlifeofachilles.com.