Kissing Sid James

Sid James, for those of you who don't know (I didn't), was a South African–born Jewish comedian known for his "dirty laugh" and his appearances in Britain's hugely popular "Carry On" slapstick film series. So when in Robert Farquhar's two-hander "Kissing Sid James," tarty Crystal uses the title phrase to describe lip-locking with sad-sack Eddie, it's not a compliment. And I'm afraid I can't be awfully complimentary about this cheap-as-chips "Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune," which chronicles a weekend fling for two of life's losers. Fortunately, there are two fine actors on board bailing as hard as they can and keeping the ship afloat far longer than the law of gravity would generally allow.

The play begins with a recorded phone call in which we hear Eddie dither and flail as he gets up the nerve to propose a romantic weekend getaway at the English seaside to Crystal, whom he clearly hardly knows and who doesn't appear inclined to help him. Nevertheless, she accepts, and the two finally arrive on stage, with Crystal staring dubiously at the suburban-twee room, with its flowery wallpaper and bedspread and kitschy lamps and art (kudos to designer Heather Wolensky). Before long, she's shed her red minidress, fake white fur jacket, and knee-high zip-up black fabric boots (though the black mesh stockings and tight-fitting teddy remain) and is enticing the hopeless but nervously game Eddie out of his synthetic clip-on tie and into bed. (Kate Klinger's costumes are appropriate but perhaps reinforce stereotype just a bit too much.)

After some rather uninspiring sexual coupling (during which Eddie calls out a litany of soccer players to keep his fortitude up), these misfits knocking on the door of middle age are left to deal with each other and the looming weekend. As you might expect, they spar, connect, break apart, reconnect, and so on. There's an utterly unnecessary intermission, and then it all goes further downhill when they leave the hotel room and venture out on the town for a series of increasingly forced events that climax in a patently unbelievable conclusion.

Alan Drake and Charlotte McKinney have been performing this show for a while now, and it shows in their effortless rapport and vaudevillian timing. Farquhar has a good ear for contemporary speech, and the pair takes full advantage of it to camouflage his character inconsistencies and awkward dramaturgy, negotiating artificial emotional changes with surprising if diminishing finesse. Drake stresses Eddie's need to hide his mass of insecurities, making this inveterate mama's boy almost sympathetic. McKinney's Crystal covers her inner wounds with an amusingly placid attitude, but good as McKinney is, she can't quite fit Crystal's contradictory pieces into a persuasive whole.

Director Jason Lawson hasn't been able to help Farquhar shape his work successfully, and he makes another error by devoting virtually the entire stage in 59E59 Theaters' tiniest space to that hotel room. Act 2's scenes outside of it are played in unatmospheric pools of light from designer Jay Scott that can't evoke place and constrict the staging while the bedroom looms over all.

When in Act 2 Crystal and Eddie share a horribly off-key karaoke rendition of the sappy Barry Manilow hit "Can't Smile Without You," we're supposed to be charmed, but all I could think was, "Oh, yes I can."

Presented by Red Lion Theatres and Cracking Up Productions as part of Brits Off Broadway at 59E59 Theaters, 59 E. 59th St., NYC. Dec. 18–Jan. 1. Tue.–Thu., 7:30 p.m.; Fri., 8:30 p.m.; Sat., 2:30 and 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 3:30 p.m. (No performances Sun., Dec. 25.) (212) 279-4200 or www.ticketcentral.com.