Director-actor Frank Zilinyi, who looks and sounds like Orson Welles circa 1970, narrates the self-styled "scrumptious banquet of erotic delights" with sonorous enthusiasm and fine Gary Owens radio-announcer gravitas. He begins with what purports to be chapter two of "Fanny Hill." Not being a John Cleland expert, I can't say whether it's a verbatim rendering, but the euphemisms for the various genitalia don't sound very 1749. In this and the other tales, the emphasis is on tired erotic puns ("It is a hoary state I'm in") and lines that chastise us for assuming the bawdiest ("Sir Humphrey's enormous...dining room"). A musical soundtrack contrasts the oohing and aahing with stately classical accompaniment (perhaps "The Nutcracker" is intended as an aural pun). Surprisingly, given the classic radio-play form, there are few sound effects or embellishments. There's also virtually nothing visual going on.
Well, perhaps not quite nothing. I wouldn't mind undressing Patrick Smith, who at one point plays a priest who masturbates during Sunday mass and whose underplaying provides a refreshing contrast to all the squeals and orgasms erupting around him. Claire Russell, Alexandra Hellquist, and Kayla Ferguson competently evoke under-ravaged British housewives, French schoolgirls in giggly lesbian ecstasy, and other variations on distaff innocence undone. But how many ways are there to scream "Oh, yes, yes!" and "Oh, God!"? The trouble with "The Naughty Victorians" is the trouble with any carnal overdose: It's monotonous.
Radiotheatre's program note expresses the hope that we'll let our imaginations run wild and mentally conjure what can't be visually represented. So you can, if it's your pleasure, unspool your own psychic porn movie, beginning with the removal of dickeys and corsets. Still, after 15 minutes of that—and endless mention of nipple tickling, light spanking, and what Victorians evidently referred to as "the triangle"—you'll probably crave mental stimulation of other kinds. Indeed, there were several walkouts. It's anybody's guess whether they were offended or just bored.
Presented by Horse Trade Theater Group and Radiotheatre at the Kraine Theater, 85 E. Fourth St., NYC. June 9–July 19. Schedule varies. (212) 868-4444 or www.smarttix.com.
