The Beauties

I hope the title of "The Beauties" is meant to be ironic as well as descriptive. While Elizabeth Taylor, Lena Horne, and Greta Garbo were undeniably physically appealing, behind the scenes, based on the "evidence" here, the three women were deeply self-involved, neurotic, foulmouthed harridans who blamed most of their problems on men, principally their fathers and ex-husbands. Real "beauties," in other words.

In 12 oddly spaced and placed scenes (four per star, two each per act), three actor-writers have speculated about monologues and telephone conversations delivered by each of the icons in the privacy of her dressing room. Director Susan Batson, who is assisted by Luca Manganaro, writes in the program that the evening's presenter, Slices of Lives Productions, "is a daring exploration of the unknown in the known celebrity." It's unknown because it's unknowable. Nobody else was there. Or if someone was, then why are no sources cited? Badly in need of a dramaturge, this workshop production—unaccountably open to critics and paying audiences—provides no new insights into the three women, but it does add up to an uncomfortable two and a half hours on folding metal chairs.

Theresa Moriarty and Ashley Arico bear little physical resemblance to their characters of Elizabeth Taylor and Greta Garbo. They try hard with makeup and costuming, but their long hair frequently gets in the way. Ryan Jillian at least looks somewhat like Lena Horne and replicates the singer's hairdos. She also sings well enough to expand her rough snippets into a full musical bio-play about Horne, perhaps encompassing some of the more positive aspects of her life, such as her important advancement of civil rights, and toning down the ranting and railing.

Production values don't enhance the evening much, and I'm not talking just about the broken telephone, the all-important prop in all three offerings. The visual aids consist of dimly visible black-and-white film and TV footage of the real women, as well as still photos of their antagonists (Eddie Fisher, John Gilbert, the evil fathers, et al.) that linger onscreen too long.

The dialogue is frequently redundant, and its revelations are nonexistent. Most of us know that Taylor needed men in her life, the reclusive Garbo didn't, and Horne faced unconscionable racial segregation. What we don't know, or only half know, would make a good full-length one-woman show about each of these subjects. This writing/acting exercise, best left to an audience of uncritical friends and family, isn't much of a start.

Presented by Slices of Lives Productions at the Susan Batson Studio, 300 W. 43rd St., NYC. Nov. 5–Jan. 28. Sat., 8 p.m. (212) 226-4630 or www.susanbatsonstudionyc.com.