Mindy needs to find a new gynecologist. Lucky for her, she works with three of them. However, when her top choice, her boss Dr. Shulman, isn’t available (where is Stephen Tobolowsky and when is he going to appear in an episode again?!) she resorts to number two: the handsome, though emotionally scarred, Dr. Danny Castellano (Chris Messina).
You see, when Dr. Schulman retires, Danny imagines he’ll be in charge, and he can be Mindy’s doctor because…wait for it…he has no feelings for her, romantic, friendship, or otherwise. He actually compares her to a pretty awesome lamp in her office.
Meanwhile, remember when Dr. Jeremy Reed (Ed Weeks) and Mindy used to go on “bedroom dates,” as her lovably naïve assistant Betsy (Zoe Jarman) calls them? Well, turns out that Jeremy left his very expensive, very dear Bulgari watch at Mindy’s apartment, and since we know Jeremy has no feelings for humans, particularly women, it makes sense that an object makes him more distraught. He consults with ex-con nurse Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) to plan to break in to Mindy’s apartment. Though he tells him it’s to plan a half birthday surprise party, which Morgan is way too excited about.
Mindy and Danny’s antics continue as they play a game of relationship chicken with the doctor pre-screen questionnaire. Danny prods Mindy with fairly routine questions about menstruation and sexual activity. Push comes to shove, and Mindy offends Danny about his divorce, and Danny does the meanest math problem a man can do for a 30+ year old woman. He mathematically proves that she will never have the four children she’s planning on.
Morgan, Jeremy, and Betsy (who tags along to decorate) successfully break into Mindy’s beautiful, cosmopolitan flat. When Morgan discovers Jeremy’s intentions, he flees and Betsy hardcore guilt trips Jeremy because she thought he was a better person if he was friends with her “best friend” Mindy. Ouch.
And…Mindy’s on the floor. (We’re having a lot of throwbacks to the pilot episode.) And Anna Camp is here! With more than one line! Mindy is sad because she’s leaving her money to Tina Fey, and not her children and grandchildren so they can become socialites. We actually get to learn a little bit about how Mindy and Gwen met too. They moved to the city as single ladies together, and Gwen met her much-older husband in a bar and got married quickly. Morgan crashes the convo – he needs to make sure Mindy has his alibi so she doesn’t think he was breaking into her apartment – and offers some sage prison wisdom as well. Be a warrior.
Then it’s time for the main event: the gynecological exam. Like all women, Mindy’s least favorite part is getting weighed, but when she lets her emotions get to her, she harnesses her inner warrior – Beyonce Pad Thai – and takes control of the situation. She turns the tables on Danny – by complimenting him and fluffing his ego – and gets him to open up about his absentee father and working mother. Wait, do Mindy and Danny have a personal relationship? Does Danny see Mindy as more than just a lamp? Answer: yes. So he runs out on her during the breast exam, as all emotionally stunted, good men do.
Lines of the Night
“This is adorable. That is like a lap band surgery ad.” – Mindy on Josh wearing her jeans
“If we are indulging imaginary situations, I would love to introduce you to my husband, straight Anderson Cooper.” – Mindy to Danny when he says he’s going to be in charge
“They used to call me the Loch Ness Morgan. Mostly because I would show up blurry in photographs.” – Morgan on his prison name
“I have such a girl crush on Tina Fey.” - Gwen
“I hate it when people say girl crush. No one is going to think you’re a lesbian if you just say crush.” - Mindy