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Backstage Experts

Embrace Your Vulnerability and Grow As an Actor

Embrace Your Vulnerability and Grow As an Actor

In last week’s article, I talked about "sharing your crack." Which is a metaphor of sorts on understanding that the neural noise in our heads is often generated by an original, false premise that tells us we are unlovable and undeserving of love.

That’s a myth.

But it feels real because of the paradigms that are built around this core belief that make us feel like we’re “messed up” in some way or “more damaged” than someone else, and therefore we feel disconnected and alienated from our real feelings and from others.

However, the cracks are necessary because, by having them, we are able to reveal shards of light – which represent our true nature.

So there is the possibility of connection beyond the neural noise.

Some might call it Buddha Mind. Pure Mind. Peace Mind. Connection. Source.

It’s what we all are. Awareness. Consciousness.

You are not the things you tell yourself. You’re not the neurological rebooting of the good or bad things you hear yourself say.

It’s difficult to access that awareness when our minds are so busy churning up so much background noise. But one way our minds can get quieted is when we share with someone special to us the noise that seems to be so loud and troubling.

Unburdening some of the clutter of our mind gives us even just a tiny bit more space for something else.

Truth. Light. Repose. Calmness. Equanimity.

In the sharing of it, we realize the judgmental parts of what we believe about ourselves for having it or thinking it or acting on it begins to melt away.

It’s not nearly so dramatic. Or awful. Or dark. Or as scary as we think. That’s the trickiness of the mind. Its job is to keep things in dark, shadowy places that only build on our fear of how scary and messed up the original thought is.

But by sharing it you might hear someone say, “Oh, I’ve thought that too.” Or, “Oh my, I don’t see you that way at all.” Or, “I’m so glad you shared that with me. I saw something was bothering you but I thought it was me.”

Insight. Healing. Connection.

Cracks that are opened, shared, and pierced by the light become infused by that light. That’s the healing nature of having them.

So don’t continue to beat yourself up by keeping them hidden. Illuminate them and watch them be burned away by the power of the Light that is within us all, wanting to come out.

The sun can’t withhold it’s Light. Neither should you.

Anthony Meindl is an award-winning writer, director, producer, and Artistic Director of Anthony Meindl's Actor Workshop (AMAW) in Los Angeles, where it was voted the Best Acting Studio in Los Angeles by Backstage in 2011 and 2012 (Best Scene Study and Best Cold Read). AMAW is also located in New York, London, Vancouver, and Australia.

Meindl's first feature film, “Birds of a Feather,” won the Spirit of the Festival Award at the 2012 Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival, and he won Best Director at the Downtown Film Festival Los Angeles. He is a regular contributor to The Daily Love, Backstage, and various spirituality podcasts. He has been featured in ABC News, Daily Variety, LA Weekly, The Hollywood Reporter and the CW KTLA. He is also the author of the new best-selling book, “At Left Brain Turn Right,” which helps artists of all kinds unleash their creative genius within. Check out Meindl's free smartphone app on iTunes. 'Follow Meindl on Twitter @AnthonyMeindl.

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