Most careers have fun perks, but being an agent is the best. Free swag and invitations are constantly pouring into my office. I can’t begin to guess how much money I’ve saved over the years.
At this point, I can get free tickets to pretty much anything that involves an actor. Guys like me never shell out money for plays or comedy shows. All we have to do is call and ask—it’s that easy.
This is wonderful because I’m single and that means my dating bills are cut in half. You can bet your last headshot that every time my name appears on a comp list, the words “plus one” are right next to it.
The best part is that I’m not just limited to shows in town. Once, I was visiting some friends in Chicago and I scored free tickets for all of us to visit the best theater companies in town, including Second City, where the cast bought us a round of drinks.
Sadly, my company doesn’t have an office in New York but I know a lot of people who do. This means every time I’m back East, I get hooked up with tickets to Broadway shows. Those are rarely free but they’re always house seats and who can argue with that?
The only time my request for free tickets got turned down was during my last trip to London. I tried to get comped for a show in the West End and those snobby Brits treated me like a freeloader. I guess they’re still mad about us throwing their tea in the harbor.
Agents also receive a ton of gifts and I’m not just talking about Christmas. It’s shocking how many actors think they can buy their way into my office. These presents are usually small, like a gift card to Starbucks, but sometimes they’re surprisingly large.
A few years ago, I was the industry guest at a workshop and I happened to mention that I had never seen “Lawrence of Arabia.” So guess what happened the next day? One of the actors sent me the special edition Blu-ray which, back then, probably set him back at least 50 bucks.
That was a nice surprise but I sure as hell didn’t bring the actor in for a meeting. Part of me wanted to since the guy spent so much money, but another part felt insulted. I mean, let’s face it: The gift was a bribe. So I never responded.
(By the way, that Blu-ray looked amazing!)
I’ve also been pleasantly surprised in restaurants when servers or other customers who know I’m an agent send free drinks to my table. I always take the time to have a nice chat with these people. And when they send me their material, I always take a close look before throwing it away.
Some of you might find my attitude disturbing but here’s the way I see it: First, actors have to earn representation—they can’t buy it. And second, being an agent is a tough gig. I spend half my life trying to help clients who are constantly getting in their own way and I spend the other half avoiding the constant stream of actors who want a minute of my time. So why shouldn’t I enjoy a few perks here and there?
I’m actually thinking about creating an online gift registry for actors who want to get on my good side. Or is that too much?
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