Auditioning is fun and exciting, and it’s also one of the most important things an actor does. But some people just can’t help but to try and make it insufferable.
1. The Early Bird. You got up at 6:00 a.m. to get there? That’s adorable. By 6:00 a.m., this actor had already been to the gym, cleaned their apartment, re-edited their resume, and signed up for the audition. Nice try though.
2. The Greek God or Goddess. We all try to look our best, but come on! How is it even fair to be that good looking? And what’s worse? They are the nicest person on the planet. How about giving us “normals” a chance.
3. The Clueless Monitor. Monitors are the lifeblood of an audition. When they are great, they can make everything run smoothly. But when they don’t follow the rules, it can ruin your day.
4. Your Nemesis. You are always in call-backs together. They have out-booked you twice now. Twice!
5. The Holding Room Romeo. He is constantly chatting up attractive young actors and inviting them out for Starbucks after the audition.
6. The Hungover Guy. He is clearly wearing the same clothes he went out in last night and just decided to power through for the early audition. He also reeks of booze.
7. The Girl Who Uses Half a Can of Hairspray in the Bathroom. Seriously? Do you not realize that people are breathing the same air around you and need to sing in ten minutes?
8. The Disinterested Casting Person. Casting personnel are usually champions of actors and want nothing more than for them to be great. Sometimes though, you get in the room, and you get the sense that they wouldn’t notice if you set yourself on fire.
9. The Ex-Showmance(s). You sang. You danced. You loved. You found out they had someone at home. Now they text you when they’re drunk.
10. That Person You Went to College With. You were sort of friends just because you were in the same department. Now you see them at every audition. You tell them you will hang out some time. (You won’t.)
11. The Person Who Signs Up 20 of Their Friends. Sure, you got there super early to make sure you get seen before your shift at Bubba Gump, but this jerk got there five minutes before you and signed up 12 of their friends.
12. The Really Loud Person. Everyone has their own process. Some people need to focus before an audition. Good luck focusing while this person is doing their best Ethel Merman impression all morning.
13. The Clueless One. We were all green once, but this person is taking it to a whole new level and is making the monitor mad in the process.
14. The Late One. They show up a half hour late for their time slot and then want the monitor to just “sneak them into line” even though you have been there for an hour.
