We all need validation.
Do you like me? Am I attractive? Was it good for you? Most of the people who live on this planet are constantly looking for reassurance. Even those who are physically gorgeous and wildly successful need positive feedback every now and then. This is especially true for creative types who work in the entertainment industry.
One of my friends is a screenwriter with two produced credits. Both films were released by major studios and they earned a decent profit. But you know what? Just the other day, he was in freak-out mode because he was waiting for notes from an A-list director and the notes were late. Did he hate the draft? Am I being fired? Is my career over?
READ: 3 Situations in Which Audition Feedback Is Helpful
I repeat: We all need validation.
This brings up the topic of feedback. Every actor wants some. A few live and die by it.
Actors spend a large part of their careers going out on auditions, which are essentially job interviews, and they don’t usually get any feedback when they’re done. So the moment they leave the casting director’s office, they’re on the phone to their reps asking for validation—
I mean, feedback. But what they don’t understand is that if every agent called every casting director after every audition, the whole casting engine would seize up and grind to a halt. So agents have to be selective about when they ask for feedback. There are times when it’s essential. And there are times when it’s a useless action.
What I learned early on in my career is that most of the feedback I get from casting directors will in no way help my clients. You can be too tall one week and too short another. Or too attractive today and not attractive enough tomorrow. And in most cases, the feedback is that the actor was fine but they went with someone else. I don’t see how any of that is helpful. But I will ask for feedback when I’m working with a new client who doesn’t have much experience. In those cases, notes from casting can be very helpful, for both me and the actor.
Let’s say five casting directors in a row tell me that my client’s choices in the room were too big. That’s great to hear because it’s easy to fix. A note like that can help you course correct. And on the flip side, if those same five casting directors tell me that my client was too young for the part, then I’m the one who needs to course correct because I’ve misjudged the actor’s age range.
Feedback is also important after a major callback. If you’re down to the wire with two other actors for a major role, then you’re damn right I’m going to check in for feedback. In those cases, I’m just as eager as you to know how the audition went.
The point I’m trying to make here is that you should trust your agent to know when feedback is needed. And you have to control that overwhelming desire to call and ask for feedback after every single audition. Because when all is said and done, most of the validation you’re seeking should probably come from within, not from outside sources.
Welcome to Hollywood Self-Help 101.
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