Children’s early influencers are their parents: a child’s mind is like a sponge, soaking in what’s around them without much of a barrier. This is then stored in the subconscious mind and directly linked to the perspectives of that child’s adult life.
If you’re the parent of a child actor, it’s critical that you mind your emotional health to better oversee the emotional well-being of your child.
In this industry, it’s understandable if you are overwhelmed by the constant state of fight or flight, adoration and rejection, feeling like a good parent one day and being disappointed the next day. There’s stress, competition, quick turnaround times, meeting agent/manager expectations, maintaining a social media presence, all of which can hinder your ability to parent and be in the moment.
So remember to be gentle with yourself—you’re doing the best you can with the knowledge you have—and remember that it’s crucial to care for yourself; that investment in your own well-being is a big part of the emotional well-being of your child. To get started, here are four ways to get on the path to emotional well-being as the parent of a child actor.
1. Schedule ‘me’ time.
Calendar weekly day(s) and timeframes for you to relish in the things that nurture your spirit. Take a drive to reflect on your goals and gratitude. Find a setting that allows your mind to relax. Discover an activity that brings peace and creative inspiration or allows you to release stress and anxiety from the body. All of this will help make sure you’re balanced and not easily triggered when something doesn’t go your way.
READ: How You Can Help Your Child Actor Land an Agent
2. Identify the difference between fact and feeling.
When you have worry or fear, stop it in its tracks by asking yourself, “Is this a fact or a feeling?” Feelings are not facts. With repetition of this practice, you will increase your emotional intelligence and begin to automatically have a healthier thinking process that weighs logic and reason. For example, if you feel like other parents are trying to sabotage your child, ask, “Is this a fact or feeling? Am I choosing to believe this to supports my feelings? Can I choose a healthier perspective instead?”
3. Lead by example.
Adults can influence the thoughts and behaviors of other adults, so choose to do so using a strength-based model, operating from your areas of strength, not weakness. Think of acting classes, audition spaces, and sets as your workspaces. Anytime you feel a negative thought or feeling, intercept it and choose the opposite expression. What strengths do you want your child to mirror by reflecting you?
4. Use your downtime productively.
Savor any downtime while your child is coaching, auditioning, or on set to invest in your own development. Are you drawn to writing a script or a blog that can help others? Is there a book you want to read or an outline of a business idea you need to flesh out on paper? When you associate the downtime with productive “me time,” you will enjoy the journey alongside your child while remembering that you have your own life.
Get in the driver’s seat of your emotional mastery. Just like driving, it becomes an automatic behavior with practice.
Jessica Morales, C.Ht. will be speaking at the Looking Ahead Program, a supportive community to help young performers and their families thrive through the challenges of the industry. For a complete list of services, visit www.lookingaheadprogram.org provided through The Actors Fund.
Jessica teaches workshops and offers private sessions on accessing your excellent self and complete mind power to break through blocks for creativity and peak performance. She uses a combination of mindfulness practices, emotional intelligence training, and visualization techniques. For additional information, visit. www.beyouhypnotherapy.com. You can find Jessica on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
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