Evidently, emotional transformations occur at the age of 33, or thereabouts. At least they did for 40-year-old actress Laila Robins and many of her friends, she points out. "It's my theory that everyone goes through a private Gethsemane at around that age. After all, Christ died at 33 and before that experienced Gethsemane and prayed to God. The question is, 'Are you going to continue your life in a protected way, or open up, even if it's scary, and enlighten yourself? Are you going to step into life and live it? Or shut down and stagnate?' "
In either Christian or New Age terms, bridges are faced and crossed at around age 33. "Astrologers talk about Saturn Rising, an alignment of planets, three decades after birth," says Robins by way of explanation: Why she would now undertake an intimidating role like Susanna Hall Shakespeare--yes, Shakespeare's daughter--in "The Herbal Bed," which opened April 16 and closed 10 days later, at Broadway's Eugene O'Neill Theatre. "She's a sexually aggressive woman. The major obstacle was creating Susanna's sensuality on stage. I was frightened by it. But that's enough of a reason for me to do it."
Robins makes it very clear that she does not take roles for healing purposes, but at one time--before her "spiritual enlightenment"--she understood actors who saw acting as a vehicle for "self-exploration and/or a way to get attention. But one day, when I was 33, I shifted. I suddenly saw acting as a higher calling. I understood that my goal was to serve the play. And I realized if an actor can make audiences' hearts resonate or make them question their values--that's an important thing to do!"
Passion and Repression
"The Herbal Bed" tells the story of Susanna's guilt-ridden extra-marital affair, the church's involvement in the family's personal life, and Susanna's decision to lie about her affair in order to protect her husband, a doctor.
"The subject matter is timely, eternal: the essence of sexuality and love. And because of passion's primal power, society sets up rules to control those impulses. Look at the president's problems," says Robins, a St. Paul, Minn., native with whom we meet in her flower-filled dressing room before a performance. "I also see Susanna's life force in feminist terms. Her sexuality or shakrah--a pulling up of energy--might not express itself in an extra-marital affair if she had the opportunity to devote her intellect to something else. If she could have become a doctor, she wouldn't have to act out sexually. I often feel that when people have affairs it has more to do with something they're searching for in themselves than anything else.
"A major challenge was to create the world of the 1600s--the repression--and what the stakes were if you had an affair and were caught, what the risks were if a woman was found mixing ingredients in an apothecary shop. She could be burned as a witch!" Robins adds, "It's also a world of disease, plagues, and death. There are no antibiotics. My husband in the play is the only doctor for miles. And that is why Susanna lies about her affair. She's protecting his feelings, reputation, and career. One woman in the audience saw me as a Monica Lewinsky. I see myself more as a Hilary. And sometimes I feel that my husband is Hilary."
Robins says this role is a "natural extension" of her career: "I've paid my dues in the classical trenches." In fact, she boasts many credits, including starring on Broadway opposite Jeremy Irons in "The Real Thing." Off-Broadway she appeared in "Mrs. Klein" with Uta Hagen. Recently, in Chicago, she was Blanche in a Steppenwolf Theatre Company production of "A Streetcar Named Desire"; Gary Sinese played Stanley. She's also done her share of television, including a lead in the short-lived series "Gabriel's Fire," co-starring James Earl Jones. She points to the bouquet he sent her on opening night.
Wisconsin to Williamstown
Robins' parents were Latvian immigrants who made their living as migrant workers--"picking broccoli in Seattle when they first came to this country in 1950. My father returned to school to become a chemist, ultimately earning his doctorate," Robins recalls proudly. "There was never much money, but we always had art and music, and theatre."
At the University of Wisconsin in Eau Claire, Robins majored in classical piano and minored in theatre. Following graduation, she entered Yale's School of Drama. "A wonderful experience!" she exclaims. "Because I was from the Midwest and untrained, I was completely open and ready to try anything. Many of my classmates were cynical and jaded; some already had conservatory training and they were there simply to get that Yale stamp of approval which they saw as a career stepping-stone."
From that vantage point--a career--Yale turned out to be a fortuitous choice for Robins as well. One of her teachers, the late Nikos Psacharopoulos, head of Massachusetts' Williamstown Theatre Festival, was clearly so impressed with Robins' talent that he cast her in his Williamstown production of "Ivanov" starring Christopher Walken and Diane Wiest. "That was my professional debut. The following summer, I got my Equity card after Nikos cast me in 'Peer Gynt.' "
In the 15 years since Robins graduated from Yale, she has, indeed, been one of the fortunate few. Short of a brief teaching gig at the HB Studio, she has consistently made her living as an actress. "I've recently discovered voice-overs and that has really made my theatre habit possible. I've just been booked to do the voice-over for Liz Taylor's White Diamonds perfume. Bert Reynolds is the on-camera spokesperson. Myself, I wouldn't want to be identified with a product and therefore wouldn't do an on-camera commercial--unless I was a star, liked the product, and wanted to endorse it [in my own person]."
Although Robins suggests she might consider another TV series--"The money is wonderful!"--no money in the world, she makes clear, would have tempted her to take the role of a Las Vegas lap dancer--she was offered the part--in the much-lambasted, big budget flick "Show Girls." "I was told it would make me a star. It was the most repellent, misogynistic piece of crap I've ever read. I'm so glad I stuck to my guns with 'Show Girls.' You have to learn to trust your instincts."
Still, she concedes that sometimes you have to violate your instincts in order to grow. Case in point: the prospect of appearing nude--"or overly sexual"--on stage always used to turn her off. But when she finally disrobed in Manhattan Theatre Club's production of "The Extra Man," the experience was transformative, she explains. "I used to have antagonistic feelings towards audiences. But naked, I felt so vulnerable and realized that they [the audiences] are naked too, like children. They want it to go well for you, and my relationship with audiences has never been the same since." q
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