It’s hard to say exactly what I would like to tell my younger self, mostly because I think I needed my experiences, both good and bad, to learn and become who I am now. You can’t start out in this industry and know it all and have it all figured out. It took me a year to finally ask someone what “checking the gate” meant!
But if I were given the opportunity, I think I would tell myself to be bold, be daring, and, essentially, be more confident. At the risk of sounding super cheesy and terribly clichéd, I’m not going to say “be yourself,” because that’s so boring and there is so much more to it than that. But what I do know is people admire singularity and confidence.
I know this is paradoxical, but I consider myself an intro-extrovert. I’m not sure if that’s an actual phrase anyone else uses, but it describes me perfectly. When I’m in a group I know, I’m a total extrovert—doing bits, being chatty, voicing my opinions—but put me in a new situation and I simply want to blend into the background with everyone else. The less attention, the better. But on the flip side, I have also never met a camera I didn’t love.
I started working on “30 Rock,” my first major acting job, when I was 17. I don’t know if you remember what you were like at 17, but I was a little awkward, pretty shy, and totally green—and I just really wanted people to like me. I was so young and was working with such incredible talent. I never wanted to say the wrong thing or embarrass myself, which, in retrospect, made me hold back a bit. I didn’t really think of myself as funny, and being around such funny people made me hesitant to chime in. Eventually I learned that when I did throw my hat into the ring, people loved it and I was a part of this “crew” I looked up to so much. I don’t think holding back like this hurt me, but could I have been more bold? Yes. Could I have taken more chances and put myself out there? Absolutely. We shot the show for seven seasons, and slowly I realized that the more “me” I was, the more fun I had, the more friendships I formed, and ultimately, the more confident I felt.
Now that I am a little older, I have settled into my personality more. I would still always rather blend in, but now I know that blending in gets you nowhere real fast. You won’t meet new people and get new, exciting opportunities by blending in. Putting yourself out there means taking chances, and you can’t get anywhere without taking chances, without a little risk. Sometimes things won’t go your way, but sometimes they do. Humble confidence. People love it, especially in this industry.
Bowden is best known for her SAG Award–winning performance as Cerie on “30 Rock.” She was most recently seen on TNT’s “Public Morals.”
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