In reality, balancing work, family, and social obligations is much more of a harried juggling act. The decision to start a family while pursuing a career as an actor can be doubly tricky.
Unlike other professions, an actor's work is often contingent on physical appearance. After years of paying dues, many actors may be hesitant to begin a family while holding out for greater success and the financial security it could bring. But it's a Catch-22. When the big break arrives, there may not be time to start a family. How does the modern actor have her cake and eat it too while preparing for a new addition to the family?
Los Angeles actor Michelle Gunn faced this very dilemma. She was debating motherhood when an on-set experience working with Angelina Jolie on "Changeling" erased any doubts. Jolie played a woman whose little boy has disappeared. "I remember watching her break down take after take," Gunn recalls. "I wondered how much different the experience would have been for her were she not a mother. It made me realize that despite some of my concerns about how having a baby would affect my career, becoming a mother could enrich my experience as an actor and as a creative person, and provide a much deeper well of resources to pull from as I'm preparing a role."
Business as Usual?
For many expecting mothers, it's business as usual in the first trimester—sort of. L.A. actor Katie F. Ward quickly realized she'd need to make concessions about the types of commercial auditions she could handle. Whether riding a roller coaster or drinking coffee, says Ward, "It seemed like the moment I found out I was pregnant, every breakdown called for me to do something I couldn't."
New York actor Amber Bela Muse battled morning sickness in her early months of pregnancy. "I went to audition for a Kit Kat commercial, and at the callback I kept dry heaving every time I took a bite," she says. "It was embarrassing." Gunn just felt slightly off: "I looked exhausted and had gained some weight, but I wasn't obviously pregnant. I wanted to tell the casting directors 'No, really, I'm not just letting myself go!' "
Once you begin to show, auditioning can get dicey. As Los Angeles actor Rochelle Rose entered her second trimester, the pursuit of work began to feel like a chess game. "At four months, I told my agent, and we had this discussion: 'Okay, I don't look pregnant. When do we start telling people?' " she says. "This is my first baby. I had no idea how my body was going to change from week to week. I didn't know what the SAG rules were and how to navigate it."
Los Angeles–based actor Amy Stewart felt she needed to keep her pregnancy a secret for as long as possible if she wanted to work. Although she booked three television gigs in her first two trimesters, she wore baggy clothes to the casting sessions to hide her condition. At four and a half months pregnant, she booked a guest spot that shot on location. That's when she ran into trouble.
Although her wardrobe included a trench coat that hid her bump, she found herself in a delicate situation when a last-minute revision to the script required her to run in heeled boots through uneven terrain. Stewart recalls, "I didn't feel safe at all. After several takes, I twisted my ankle and took a spill."
It was then that she revealed her pregnancy to the director. "I felt stupid for putting myself in that position in the first place," she says. "I realized that trying to act like pregnancy was no biggie for the sake of booking work wasn't always realistic. It is a big deal, and it's important to let the right people know."
When to Tell?
Many women don't reveal that they are pregnant in their first trimester, even to family members—and for good reason. Complications are common. So when is the appropriate time to tell an agent, casting director, or producer?
Screen Actors Guild provides guidance. Adam Moore, associate director of affirmative action and diversity for the union, notes, "Screen Actors Guild maintains that it is unlawful for employment decisions to be based on someone's pregnancy status. However, once a performer has been hired, we do advise that the best course of action for all parties on all matters is always to avoid any surprises. The producer shouldn't surprise our members with unknown working conditions or new scenarios that would negatively impact the performer's ability to do the job, and our members would serve themselves well not to keep things from the producer that may well affect their ability to play the role.
"Whether alerting production to an ADA [Americans With Disabilities Act] accommodation or simply letting them know that your haircut is different from the video reel they reviewed when deciding to hire you, we always recommended that being candid up front can help avoid complications later on."
New York agent Naomi Kolstein, president of the bicoastal Kolstein Talent Agency, sees the agency-client relationship as a partnership and believes that it's vital that each side be honest with the other. Says Kolstein, "Once an actress knows that she is pregnant, she should gather her own thoughts about the next year of her life and then sit down and strategize with her agent to come up with a well-thought-out plan for work, no work, or some work during the pregnancy and early motherhood period."
Monika Mikkelsen, an L.A.-based casting director and chair of the Casting Society of America's diversity committee, thinks an actor should let people know she's pregnant when she feels comfortable doing so. Still, she cautions, "If you know you are pregnant and you put yourself forward for a character that is absolutely not pregnant, as a story point, you would be well-advised to discuss your pregnancy with all parties involved if there is real interest in you playing the character."
Once an actor reveals she is expecting, Mikkelsen opens the discussion to the production team as well as the actor and their representatives. Together, they weigh what is best for the pregnant performer and her baby and whether the pregnancy will impact the storytelling significantly. She says, "The actor who is pregnant has to take a moment to review the job she is being offered, look at the hours per day she is being asked to commit for, and ask herself, 'Can I take all of this on right now? Or should I sit this one out?' "
Staying Focused
While commercial breakdowns for real pregnant women and families are "en vogue," theatrical roles that specifically call for expecting women are few and far between. That hasn't stopped these soon-to-be moms from staying focused and creating their own opportunities.
Introduced to a new manager after becoming pregnant, Gunn was nervous that it would deter him from signing her as a client. "I would have understood if he didn't want to sign someone who was going to need to take a leave of absence to have a baby," she says. Her worries were unfounded. He enthusiastically signed her, and they worked together to create a plan to keep her busy during and after her pregnancy.
"I was thrilled. I had no intention of waiting things out for the next eight months," Gunn recalls. Likewise, when Rose told her commercial agency she was pregnant, her reps were not only supportive but offered her print representation as well. Says Rose, "I felt like my pregnancy gave me an opportunity that wasn't otherwise available to me."
At seven months pregnant, Muse decided to produce, direct, and star in an Off-Off-Broadway production of "A Hatful of Rain." The wife of the main character is also seven months pregnant. Although the project was taxing at times, Muse used her real-life condition to strengthen her approach to the character, and the production was well-received.
For some pregnant actors, work remains status quo. For Rose, voiceover work has been a lifeline. "I still audition two to four times a week and book the same amount of jobs as before," she says. Ward has had several direct bookings during her pregnancy: "The directors didn't care, and it didn't affect the story. We didn't have to hide my body, which was a relief."
Not all actors choose to pursue work for the full term of their pregnancy. Gunn recognizes her limitations. She says, "Your body is practically running a marathon every day. I have to remind myself to listen to my body, rest if it needs to rest, and give myself permission to say no." At four and half months, Stewart took a break from auditioning and channeled her creativity into acting classes and writing. "I wanted to make sure I enjoyed the journey of my pregnancy," she says. "It's such a magical time."
A Niche Market
Liza Elliott-Ramirez was a working model when she became pregnant. She says, "During the height of my career, I wanted to continue modeling and doing commercials. At that time, there weren't any agencies that specialized in this niche market. I was told, 'Call me once you get back into shape.' "
In 2001 she launched Expecting Models (EM Talent) in New York City, a SAG-franchised and trademarked agency that secures commercial and print work for expecting mothers and their families. It is the first and only agency of its kind in the United States and now has an office in Los Angeles and representatives in Florida and Chicago. Her agency has been a boon to many expecting mothers—including Gunn, Muse, and Ward, all of whom signed with the agency after learning they were pregnant.
Elliott-Ramirez says she understands how professional models and actors feel because she has walked in their shoes: "I love being of service to a group of women that would normally be ignored. Being able to keep a family bonding while they are all making money is awesome. It's a grand purpose!"
Gaining Perspective
Although many actors worry that starting a family may dissipate professional momentum, career and family need not be at odds. As these women's personal responsibilities (and bellies) expanded, so did their perspectives on life and career.
Gunn will never forget the first audition she had after learning she was pregnant. "Suddenly," she says, "the nerves were gone. I remember thinking, 'If I don't get this, no big deal. I have a life growing in here.' " Rose takes an equally practical stance: "Millions of women have had babies, and somehow they survive. I've been acting since I was a child, and however much I am or am not working in a certain period of time is fine. I understand that it is cyclical."
Likewise, it seems the majority of industry professionals are supportive of their clients and talent base during this time of transition. No matter where an actor is in her career, Matthew Lessall, L.A.-based casting director and CSA Diversity Committee member, believes that family should come first. He says, "Whether starting [a family] or just having a wife, husband, partner, mother, father, baby, dog, whatever, nothing is more important. Shocking, I know, but if work is all you have, well, then work is all you have, and how can that be a good thing?"
Bruce Smith, president of Omnipop Talent Group, says planning for a showbiz pregnancy is not unlike planning for an earthquake: "It happens when it happens, and then everyone must immediately rethink and recalibrate their career. Show me a client who would actually postpone having a family to please their reps, and I'll show you an incredibly dysfunctional, co-dependent business relationship."
Ward intends to take time off after having her baby; she knows that the industry isn't going anywhere. "I've built a career on hard work, relationships, and talent," she says. "A few months or even a year away doesn't diminish that. You don't need to put off things you want to do in your life because you're holding out for your big break. If, like me, you're in this for the long haul, it is very possible to have the career, family, and life you want."
It's sage advice for any actor, male or female, who has made a long-term commitment to a theatrical career. Life enhances art, and vice versa.