Does being invisible sound like fun? Trust me: It’s not. The last week of my life has been a living hell.
You’re probably wondering how a mild-mannered agent ended up in this nightmare. I certainly had no intention of becoming an invisible man. Who does? But I found myself trapped between a demanding actor and some really bad timing.
“I certainly had no intention of becoming an invisible man. Who does? But I found myself trapped between a demanding actor and some really bad timing.”
You see, I was visiting my client on location at an optics lab. He was having a temper tantrum about his dressing room, and as his agent, it was my job to rush over and put out the fire. It turned out a clerical error had placed him in the wrong wagon. No big deal. I fixed the mistake in five minutes. This could’ve been done on the phone, but big money clients like seeing their agents throw some weight around. That’s one of the ways we get to keep them.
On my way out, I made a wrong turn and got lost in the maze of hallways. That’s how I ended up stumbling into a high-tech lab. Suddenly, I was trapped in the middle of an experiment. There were flashing lights. Alarms were going off. And I could feel every inch of my flesh crawling. Luckily, I was able to sneak out before anyone saw me.
3 Questions That Will 100% Ruin Your Next Meeting With an Agent When I woke up the next day, I was invisible. My dog freaked out, but I was thinking this could be fun, so I headed over to my office. Why not, right? Then I had a few encounters which soured me on the reality of my situation.
The first one occurred in the reception area. I snuck in quietly and noticed an actor sitting there with his manager. They were waiting to meet one of my associates about representation. Curious, I glided over and listened in on their private conversation. The manager was explaining they could sign with us, book a few jobs, and then move to a bigger and better agency. What terrible advice. Leaving a company that’s doing well for you is a major mistake. You need to ride that success! Furious, I poured a pitcher of flavored water over the guy’s head and moved on to my office.
That’s where I heard my assistant talking trash about yours truly. She was upset because my expectations for her were too high. Nothing was ever good enough. I wanted to explain that it wasn’t personal; that I was treated the same way when I was in her shoes and that’s what made me a good agent. Then I realized my disembodied voice would probably give her a heart attack, so I left the building.
Then outside, I almost bumped into one of my clients. The kid was just standing there talking on his cell. He seemed to be having an anxiety attack. “My agent is going to kill me. Or worse, he might even drop me. This was such an important audition. Why didn’t I work harder? Why did I stay out all night? Why did I get there so late? That audition could not have gone worse and it’s all my fault!”
And that was it. Game over. I’m going back to the optics lab and I hope they can help me. I really do.
An agent can only take so much honesty.
Happy Halloween!
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