We have talked about how a child actor has to be dedicated to their craft. How they have to be prepared and practice lines and take classes and memorize scenes and be personable and the list goes on and on….
But what about the sacrifices that a parent and family of a child actor must make? Having a child in the industry is a labor of love. You have your own list of responsibilities, and yes…sacrifices that you must make in order to fully support your child.
The first sacrifice is obviously financial. Parents are the ones paying for classes, headshots, casting profile subscriptions, gas and tolls and parking fees driving to and from auditions, babysitters for siblings, taking time off from work, buying special audition outfits, and other expenses associated with having a kid in the business. For some families, these expenses are no problem. For other families, it means scrimping and saving and budgeting. For some it means that if Sally gets acting classes, Jessica can’t get ballet lessons. If Alice gets new headshots, Billy can’t get new ice skates for his hockey team. This can easily cause resentment among siblings when one child is perceived to get special treatment that the other children are not getting.
That segues us nicely to the next sacrifice: Time away from family. This sacrifice can be as small as having to hire a babysitter for two hours while you drive one child to an audition to as big as leaving a spouse and/or other siblings behind when one books a movie for eight weeks shooting in Australia or a child books a series which requires relocating to Los Angeles or New Mexico for six months out the year for the next seven years. Sometimes the whole family can go, but in many instances there is one parent left behind because of a job/career that prevents them from going. Sometimes there is a child in high school who is very involved in sports or the debate team or some other activities that they don’t want to give up. Sometimes one parent has a sick or elderly parent of their own that needs tending to.
Another sacrifice is your own career. Sometimes as a parent you have to put your career and your dreams on hold in order to fully be present and available to support your child. I have clients whose parents save every sick day, personal day, and vacation day to use for auditions and bookings.
I just heard a great story from my gynecologist (seriously!) about how he sold his thriving practice and moved to Los Angeles when his son booked a Disney series. He saw two patients his first two months in his new office. He has since built a new practice in L.A., but not everyone is lucky enough to be in a position to do that. And it’s not easy to relocate; you are changing schools, leaving behind friends and family, and leaving a job behind (which often means a dramatic decrease in financial security).
Smaller sacrifices are an untidy house, an overflowing laundry basket, and a whole lot of take-out for dinner. Missed doctor appointments, missed sports events for siblings, having to cancel or cut short a family vacation. I know of one mother who took a newborn baby with her on a national Broadway tour that her older child had booked, because she knew how much it meant to her to be able to do it. Another of my clients had a milestone birthday celebration bought and paid for years in advance which entailed her entire family and extended family together on a cruise to celebrate. The week of the cruise everyone was on the ship…except for her husband and son who were in New York rehearsing for a Broadway show that he had just booked. They were more than OK with that sacrifice as it had been their son’s dream for years to be on Broadway and his dream had just come true. Watching their faces on opening night as they watched him perform on Broadway is something I will never forget.
That’s what makes all the sacrifices worth it. Seeing your child truly filled with joy over being able to live their passion! Your kids will grow up and be eternally grateful to you for giving them the chances and the opportunities to live and fulfill their dreams. It takes a special child to succeed in this business, but it also takes special parents behind them…sacrificing, encouraging, and loving them through every step of the journey. I applaud and admire every one of you!
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