Tourists who visit Los Angeles are desperate for a taste of the real Hollywood. So they waste their time exploring places like the Hollywood Walk of Fame or riding the tram at Universal Studios. I’ve even seen tourists lurking outside the gate at Paramount Pictures, hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite star. It never occurs to them that celebrities like Tom Cruise and Emma Stone don’t just drive through a studio gate in plain sight. (They enter by way of a secret tunnel, where mole people escort them to their office of choice.)
The real Hollywood is hidden.
I’m willing to bet that even those who have lived here for years don’t know about the Hollywood Agent’s Museum (HAM). Yes, it’s a real place, but you won’t find it in any travel books. Only industry people tend to visit, but admission is free and it’s open to everyone.
Located just outside of town on the backlot of a second-tier studio, the Hollywood Agent’s Museum stands as a testament to the importance of what people like me do for a living. I try to visit at least once a year or whenever I need an ego boost.
My favorite spot in the museum is a gallery called the Truth Behind the Myth. It’s a cavernous room with walls covered in framed pictures of actors like Brad Pitt. They’re all great shots, very flattering. But as you cross in front of each picture, an optical illusion occurs that fades the actor into the background as an image of his first agent appears in the foreground. It’s a strong reminder that every star’s career began with an agent taking a chance.
Another area I enjoy visiting is the Hall of Fame. There are wax figures to commemorate the greatest agents in history and the deals that put them on the map. For example, you can see a life-size figure of Nick Stevens shaking hands with his client Jim Carrey after getting him $20 million to appear in “The Cable Guy.” (That was an industry record in 1995.)
Toward the back of the museum, there’s a dark passageway called the Worst Day of My Life. I’ve only been in there once and didn’t make it all the way through. I ran out in tears.
The passageway is lined with monitors that run looped footage of agents talking about the one horrible, terrible day that almost made them quit the industry and move to Portland, Ore. One of the screens shows a rep from CAA talking about his favorite assistant, a kid he pulled out of the mailroom and trained to be just like him. Sadly, the kid learned his lesson a little bit too well, because after one year, he left to become an agent at a rival company and took five clients with him. How tragic is that? Other screens feature agents talking about clients who betrayed them after hitting it big, or the first time they were fired because their bookings were too low.
All in all, the Hollywood Agent’s Museum is a great way to spend the day if you want to learn more about the industry. You won’t see any celebrities there, but you will see a moving homage to the people who helped those stars shine so bright.
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