Welcome to 2016!
At the risk of sounding like a self-help guru, the first thing I want you to do this year is get rid of all the negative energy in your life. Being an actor is hard enough. You don’t need to be surrounded by doomsayers who never have your best interests at heart.
I’ve been around actors for a large part of my adult life, and I’ve come to learn that actors tend to have friends who are actors. I think this is natural. Common ground breeds closeness, and misery loves company. But here’s the thing: There are two types of actor friends. There are the ones who care about you and want you to succeed, and there are the ones who are too wrapped up in their own shit to give a damn about you or your career.
Here’s an example of how a conversation between two actor friends can take two very different directions:
YOU: “Oh my God, I’m so excited. I just booked my first guest star role!”
NEGATIVE ACTOR FRIEND: “Damn, I need to get myself a better agent.”
YOU: “Oh my God, I’m so excited. I just booked my first guest star role!”
POSITIVE ACTOR FRIEND: “Dude, that’s amazing! Congratulations! Tell me more!”
See the difference?
Support from your peers is very important when you’re trying to succeed in what might be the world’s most difficult profession. That first friend will never care about your accomplishments because they shine a light on his failures. The idea of supporting you is alien to him because he’s too focused on himself. (A selfish actor! Can you imagine that?) But the second friend is worth 10 golden tickets to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory because he’s got your back. He will be there when you need him.
This support problem gets worse when actors date actors.
One of my clients recently broke up with her actor boyfriend because he was constantly undermining her confidence. Every time I scored a promising audition for her, he would wish her the best but would also tell her not to get her hopes up. “Oh, honey. I don’t want you to get excited about this. You know how I hate to see you disappointed.” Seriously, this guy’s headshot should be in the dictionary under “passive-aggressive.” It was a good day when she cut that tumor from her heart.
So I want you to follow her example. Take a close look at all the actors in your life. Friends, lovers, whatever. Do they cheer your wins or do they dismiss them? When you book a job, do they take you out for drinks or do they ask to meet your agent? Once you figure that out, make a list, check it twice, and then start making some cuts.
It’s like Sinatra said, “Some people get their kicks stomping on a dream.” But that doesn’t mean you have to allow them to get away with it. Being an actor draws on who you are as a person, and having all that negative energy in your life will affect your career in more ways than one. So start the year off right, lose the losers, and don’t forget to give as much support as you receive.
Like this advice? Check out more from Secret Agent Man!
