"Helen is a very brave woman to get up every morning and like herself when everyone in the media says she shouldn't."
So states Ashlie Atkinson, who is fully aware that not everyone in the audience believes that a seriously overweight woman could be as self-accepting as her character, Helen, the lead in Neil LaBute's slice-of-life drama "Fat Pig." No one would know better than Atkinson herself: As a youngster, she also suffered over her weight but, like Helen, she got past it.
"Still, I had a visceral reaction when I heard the title 'Fat Pig,' " recalls relative newcomer Atkinson, for whom "Fat Pig" is a major step. "That's what was said about me when I was growing up. The title 'Fat Pig' is interesting because the 'pigs' in the play are really Carter and Jeannie, not Helen at all. And I think the audience comes to realize that, and by the end they're sympathizing with Helen and rooting for her."
Currently running Off-Broadway at the Lucille Lortel Theatre, "Fat Pig" explores what happens when Tom (Steven Pasquale), an attractive 20-something yuppie, falls in love with the zaftig Helen, who is devoid of self-consciousness and totally delightful. Tom's colleagues at work, however, are not all that tolerant. Neither the svelte Jeannie (Jessica Capshaw) nor the slick Carter (Andrew McCarthy) buys into Tom's attraction for Helen. Indeed, it enrages and threatens them and they make their feelings known to Tom and Helen, the latter responding with reserve and perhaps even graciousness.
"Helen is nobody's victim," notes the bright and gregarious 27-year-old Atkinson, who meets me for tea at a restaurant near the theatre. "Helen has a job she loves and wonderful friends. Like me, she surrounds herself with people who appreciate her for who she is. I've given her a backstory. Before she goes out with Tom, she has spent time with her friends, who insist nobody notices her size. That allows her to have that moment when she meets with Tom—'Oh, maybe this is the man for me.' "
Nonetheless, Atkinson concedes that tackling Helen posed many challenges: "I want to invest her with as much dignity and integrity as she deserves. For example, in the opening scene we see her eating lunch. She eats slowly, a little bit at a time. She's not wolfing down that meal."
Equally relevant, "Helen has a sense of where she stands in the world and is willing to take chances. She has not shut herself off from possible experiences. My challenge is to keep myself open. The other big challenge is for me not to play—or anticipate—the end of the play. That's a real struggle."
Atkinson adds, "I don't think I'm as understanding as Helen. She has more of a feminine energy than I do. I have a masculine energy. I skate in roller derbies and I hit people when I make a joke. Helen is more demure than I am. That was a challenge."
Cosmetics aside, there is another issue surrounding excessive weight: health. Why is Helen so unconcerned about the health implications of her weight? The script makes no mention of it and Atkinson admits she has deliberately avoided that question in her understanding of Helen, despite the fact that weight concerns are so much in the public consciousness today.
"We decided not to go there because it would weaken the play, not strengthen it," says Atkinson, who points out that she herself is health-conscious—after all, she eats quite a bit on stage eight performances a week. Further, she understands that some theatregoers might be uncomfortable watching an overweight person consume that much. "Look, fat people do eat. But that's the only real eating I do all day." She adds, "I'm actually not as large as I appear on stage. I have a fat suit on. I'm a size 14, not 24."
No Need to Lose Weight
The daughter of a pathologist father and registered nurse mother, the Little Rock, Ark.-born Atkinson wanted to an act from the outset. She launched her New York experience at Barnard College, where she majored in political science and religion, thinking that "those subjects would somehow inform my acting. I spent two years at Barnard and then I was kicked out. I really didn't care about school. Anyone in New York who was of interest to me was auditioning for something."
Atkinson completed her undergraduate degree in theatre and English at Hendrix College in Conway, Ark., before heading back to New York City to study acting at the Neighborhood Playhouse, which was "a wonderful experience," she recalls.
"It's great to wake up in the morning and know you're going to be spending the day doing what you want to do. I also think a program like the Neighborhood Playhouse is very helpful to someone coming to New York. It offers a structure and a prefabricated peer group. There's a sense of community at the Neighborhood Playhouse. And it's still strong among its alumni."
Atkinson recounts with special pleasure the warm-up exercises at the school each morning: "The first thing we did was dance. It was liberating to be forced to do—given the structure to do—something that you love but as a large woman otherwise might not feel comfortable doing. Here, I didn't have to justify it."
And, interestingly, Atkinson was never told to lose weight by her acting teachers at the Neighborhood Playhouse or the casting directors and agents she has subsequently met or dealt with: "Perhaps if I were more of an ingénue type to begin with, I'd be told to lose weight. But I played 'characters' in school and once I got out, I continued to play 'characters'—characters who fall in love and have love scenes. It's phenomenal."
Among her credits: the recurring role of Theresa, a firefighter's sexy girlfriend on FX's "Rescue Me," and guest shots on "Law & Order" and Comedy Central.
She continues, "It's funny when people say to me, 'So what's it like to play large women?' They're all large. I'm large. I don't slap on cellulite as a character choice. It comes with me."
Clearly, the experiences of large women are very much on Atkinson's mind, not to mention the minds of her audience: "It's important to me that they leave the theatre interested in having a dialogue about the subject of the play. I had four women come up to me after the show, all very thin. Each one took me aside and showed me a photo of what she looked like before she had the surgery. I think they're very happy now, but the show affected them profoundly because in their minds, they're still the people in those old photographs."
Speculating on Helen's future after the play ends, Atkinson says, "Helen will be fine. But I'm not sure Tom will be. He has had his dark night of the soul. Thanks to Helen, he realizes he'll never be strong enough to be happy. He'll never be excited instead of ironic. Feelings of excitement invite criticism. He knows he'll never get past irony and that he is a fearful person who will never get better."
Atkinson offers yet another provocative observation, insisting she feels particular sympathy for Jeannie, far more so than for Helen: "Jeannie has had a nose job and taken a job in accounting in order to meet someone successful. She has sacrificed so much of herself with no guarantee of anything. That's terribly painful."
For Atkinson, Helen is probably the happiest character on stage.