Remember This When Your Friends Book More Work Than You

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When I was in high school, I got very envious of my male friends. They got more female attention than me and I spent a lot of time complaining. I watched them go on dates. I envied their connections. I often felt like a third wheel.

Of course, had I realized this was all about their confidence—and my lack thereof—it would have been a different story.

You see, confidence has always been a work in progress for me. It’s one of the reasons I started my podcast: to encourage us all to embrace being enough, regardless of where we are in our lives and careers. And you know what? Today it’s a different story: I love seeing my friends go on dates! I get warm and fuzzy feelings when my peers are in relationships. And when I see on social media that they’re engaged, I usually cheer out loud. It’s the opposite reaction of what I used to do. 

So, what changed?

Today, I love seeing other people happy. There are a lot of life challenges that are going to stress us out and give us headaches. But reading personal development books and working with life coaches like have helped me direct my energy toward the things that matter. And it’s helping—a lot.

So now that you know this and hopefully want to change this for yourself, what can you do?

Think about someone you care about. Consider how much you hurt when they hurt. And when they book that big role or sign with a big name agent or post on Facebook about yet another commercial they booked, remember how much their happiness means to you.

If we can all start to celebrate our friends’ accomplishments—especially the ones we want for ourselves—it’s going to help. You’ll stress less. And rather than dwell on the fact that you didn’t book something or you don’t have an agent, you will instead channel that energy into positive feelings for your loved one and not waste them on wallowing.

Start celebrating others. Take the focus off you. Even though you may be working extra hard, there are going to be some people who reach the finish line before you and that’s okay—celebrate them.

I’ll leave you with a thought from the book “Ego is the Enemy” by Ryan Holiday:“What if there’s more than one race going on?”

Run your own race. Celebrate others in theirs.

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The views expressed in this article are solely that of the individual(s) providing them,
and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Backstage or its staff.

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Tony Rossi
Tony is a Chicago based actor, having performed both in the Chicago and Boston markets. His training includes the Second City Conservatory and the Business of Coaching and Speaking certification program. After hitting his rock bottom while waiting tables, Tony now coaches actors to see things differently with the things that make them stressed so they can focus on what matters. Check out the Actor Problems podcast, dedicated to the mental well being of actors.
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