Why do I do it?
Last night, I was hanging out at the top-secret agent bar that only agents know about, and I was about three drinks in when I started asking myself that damn question, over and over. Why do I do it? The bartender overheard and the guy served me an understanding smile. I’m sure he’s heard it all before from just about every rep who frequents the joint.
The catalyst for my walk down self-pity lane was a test deal that had gone sideways. You see, every time they test for a series regular role on a pilot, the studio and network bring in anywhere from three to five actors. And even though we all know only one of them can book the part, agreements have to be negotiated in advance for every single actor. Doing this creates an even playing field between agents and the studio, because if we wait till after the test to negotiate the winning actor’s deal, the rep would know everyone wants his client and could dictate the terms. So a lot of time and effort are wasted on complex contracts for actors who aren’t going to get the job.
In this case, my client didn’t come out on top, and that’s fine. The guy has proven himself worthy of a series regular role and he’ll probably test again. So that’s not what sent me running to the agent bar. No—it was all the wasted hours I spent negotiating an amazing deal that will never get used or seen by anyone else. One of the agents at my office suggested I could frame it, and I paid a homeless guy to slash his tires.
That’s the life of a talent agent: We slave over making things happen, but nine out of 10 times, nothing actually happens. It’s just wasted motion.
READ: Why Being Likeable to an Agent Is More Important Than Acting Experience
For example, when I look at all the newbies I’ve signed over the years, I would estimate that one out of 10 made me money, and maybe one out of 40 came through in a major way. So what should I do? Stop signing developmental talent? No, of course not. It’s a numbers game. But damn, I’ve squandered a large part of my life helping people go nowhere.
And don’t get me started on the hundreds of submissions and auditions that led to a handful of notable bookings. That’s a different level of crazy. My most frustrating memory is the week I scored 40 auditions and no one booked.
So why do I do it? Why be an agent in a town that’s doomed to be destroyed by an earthquake when there are easier ways to make a living in safer cities? The answer is because every now and then, a plan comes together and something wonderful happens. Lives are changed. Faith is restored. And that’s what it’s all about.
The odds of an actor breaking through in a substantial way are very long, so when it does happen and I know I had something to do with it, that makes all the wasted effort worthwhile. It’s a validating moment. And when I end up at the agent bar on a night like that, I’m not tossing back shots of Jack—I’m popping the Champagne and the drinks are on me.
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