We like to think that we have control over what happens to us, but the truth is that we really don’t have nearly as much control as we’d like to have. Life is a constant flow of gain and loss, pleasure and pain, fame and infamy. The minute we think we have it all figured out and things are going our way…it starts to fall apart. There’s nothing wrong with this and no one is to blame; it’s just the rhythm of life.
What we do have control over is our reaction to what happens to us. In every situation we can choose to be open or closed to what’s happening. It can be difficult to stay open when the experience is in any way hurtful, but for an artist there is really no other choice.
Being open to all of your experiences is an artistic job requirement. Your job is to experience all of life so that you can illuminate it deeply, clearly, and honestly in your work.
If you choose to close down around difficult experiences, you are cutting off access to whole parts of your emotional spectrum and thus diminishing yourself as an artist.
So stay open to it all…
Open to rejection. No matter how successful you become, you’re always going to lose more jobs than you gain, so an open, healthy relationship to hearing “no” is essential. “No” means that something has ended so that you can begin again.
Open to hearing yes. This can actually be difficult! After a series of no’s you can become mistrustful and anxious when you finally hear “Yes.” Your instincts of self-preservation can kick in and tell you to be careful about opening to the space and joy of yes. Be open anyway and enjoy it while it lasts.
Open to disapproval. When you tell people you’re an actor, often you can see them internally rolling their eyes and silently saying, “Oh, sure you are…” Be open to rawness of this condescension and let it strengthen your resolve to be a great artist despite what others think.
Open to insensitivity. Actors tell me all the time that as much as they love their families, they can be quite hurtful in expressing their opinions about their careers. “Why don’t you get a real job?” “You’re not working, so how can you say you’re an actor?” “We enjoyed seeing you on TV last month, but what about this month?” You don’t have to explain anything to these people, you just need to stay open and become even more committed to defining success the way that fulfills you and living your life accordingly.
Open to bad auditions. I don’t think the best advice after a shaky audition is “Forget it and move on.” That attitude dooms you to making the same mistakes again. Be open to the disappointment and frustration; feel all the feelings.Then, if you prepared with a strong technique, you can go over your audition and find what went wrong and do the work to make sure you improve in that area.
Open to learning. You never know everything and never will, but to striving to learn as much as you can about what you love is essential to artistic growth. I have students who have been series regulars and leads in huge movies who come to my class to “start again.” These wonderful actors realize that what worked for them in the past may not be what they connect to in the present and they have no ego about starting from scratch and learning a new set of skills. That openness is exactly why they’re working actors.
Open to sacrifice. It’s tempting to believe the advertisers and the misguided gurus who tell us that we can have it all. Or deserve it all. You can’t and it’s self-centered to try.
Renouncing unhealthy behaviors, bad habits, and selfishness clears so much space for creativity, kindness, generosity, and focus, and increases your artistic discipline as well. Be open to sacrificing what is not serving you and you’ll finally be able to grow up and be the artist you always knew you could be.
Being open is not about being a victim; it’s just the opposite. When you open yourself up to everything, you gain the power to change what is unsatisfactory. When you close down, you grow weak. You’re telling your body, mind, and heart that you’re not strong enough to deal with the present reality of your life.
The Zen Buddhists like to say that in each life time we get 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. Staying open to each and every one ensures a full experience of life and a full artistic heart.
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