Dear John. Yes, your name is John. And you’re an actor.
Let me be more specific. You’re white. You’re in your 20s. And your last name has three syllables. I know this because I saw your name printed on the headshot you were holding. I also noticed a copy of this magazine inside your bag. That’s how I know you’re reading this column.
You see, I was sitting next to you at Starbucks last week. I’m talking about the one in Studio City. You might remember me, John. I was the only one there wearing a suit. And here’s what I heard you say to your friend: “I’m going to kill this agent meeting. That guy needs me. I checked out his list and he doesn’t have anyone like me.”
Does that ring a bell, John? You seemed pretty sure of yourself, but that meeting didn’t go well, did it? I know this because I called the agent, a guy I happen to know, and I asked him. How strange. I guess he didn’t need you after all.
But don’t worry, John. You’re not the only actor out there who doesn’t understand the nature of need. I hear it all the time during meetings. Actors will go out of their way to explain how much I need them. This always makes me smile. You know what I really need? A good bottle of Scotch and a guide that will help me understand the mind of a woman.
Now here’s the thing, John. If you want to be needed by an agent, you have to give the agent a reason to need you. Being a type he doesn’t have isn’t enough.
So would you like to know why exactly that agent passed on you? I can tell you right now because my friend explained his decision to me. But you might want to sit down, John. This will be a tough pill to swallow.
He said you kept telling him how ready you were for representation but there was nothing on your résumé to indicate you were right. He explained that in the three years since you moved here, you haven’t studied with one single teacher known to the industry. He also told me you haven’t done a play or live comedy or a Web series or anything else that you could do without the help of an agent.
Worst of all, he said you boasted about all the casting directors you’ve met at workshops. Oh, John. That was a mistake. Don’t you know agents always do their homework? My friend called some of those casting directors and most of them didn’t remember you. I guess you didn’t make much of an impression. Did any of them even bring you in for an audition? I bet the answer to that question is no.
So why exactly did you think that agent needed you? Was it because his client list had a hole you knew you could fill? Well, agents don’t sign actors just because they need a type. Choosing whom to represent is a big decision and we don’t make it lightly. Trust me. I’ve never signed a fat guy just because I needed a fat guy.
I hope this information helps, John. You need to start creating reasons for us to want you. That takes a little bit of talent and a whole lot of hustle. It’s not easy, but it can be done. After all, every actor has to start somewhere.
And remember—don’t wait for an agent to start your career. Do it yourself!
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