"Her name is Rio, and she dahnces on the sahnd," screeches a hot mess of a drag queen with a British accent so ludicrous that it would make Simon LeBon wince. Behold Dina Martina — a purposefully outré train wreck with a ratty Liza Minnelli wig, an exposed beer belly, and lipstick seemingly applied with a trowel — opening her new show by butchering Duran Duran's hit. Her reasoning? "I've got a song in my heart and a shard of glass in my foot," she explains.
With perky enthusiasm worthy of an Up With People cast member, Dina (the alter ego of performer Grady West) drags audiences kicking and screaming through cracked-out karaoke, audience interrogation, and malapropism-filled monologues. Off the Charts! is like fly fishing in Dina's polluted stream of consciousness, with the energetic performer quickly leaping from one pop-culture reference to the next, and audiences never knowing what non sequitur she'll reel in next. Watch as Dina barrels through the 1980s pop songbook (blissfully ignorant of the correct lyrics), infusing the theme from Ice Castles with guttural trills that sound like the Cowardly Lion is drowning. Be a part of Dina's Gift Parade — pronounced "jift" — and take home some of the finest treats Canal Street has to offer (top prizes include Van Halen puffy stickers and Three's Company trading cards). Or listen rapturously as Dina details her charity work: producing Spielberg in the Park with at-risk kids and growing out her back hair to donate to Locks of Love.
But don't expect much beyond the kitschy giggles and goofs on middlebrow naiveté. The giddily deranged Off the Charts! may be filled with genuine belly laughs (and groaners), but, frankly, they're all permutations of the same joke. Still, Dina kicks out the jams all night without wearing out her welcome, even managing to seamlessly segue Devo into Petula Clark. Perhaps that's where her true "jifts" lie.
Presented by and at the Cutting Factory,
19 W. 24th St., NYC.
Feb. 22-March 9. Fri.-Sun., 7:30 p.m.
(212) 352-3101 or (866) 811-4111 or www.theatermania.com or www.spincycle.com.