Oh, Jane! She (and her roots) are starting to suspect that the Drake may not be the start of a magical new life for her and her boyfriend—not fiancé, everyone, so stop asking!—Henry. Maybe it was the cardboard wall in the apartment of the man who killed to keep his zombie wife alive, the one that Jane blithely punched a hole in only to find hundreds of starlings fly at her head and then out the (closed) window. Maybe her dreams about that mysterious door behind a concrete wall are finally starting to get to her. But before she can start thinking about what the Drake is trying to tell her, she has to get passive aggressive with doorman Tony.
“I didn’t steal your job,” she tells him in a huff. “Mr. Doran hired me.” Yeah, well, Tony doesn’t really care, which is why he makes Jane call an exterminator for all those birds. That exterminator also seems to keep late hours, because everyone’s having dinner when he finally makes his way to the basement to demo the concrete wall blocking the secret door, like Jane asked him to. An exterminator who also doubles as a contractor? Sounds like a Groupon deal to me.
Alas, the starlings and the Drake don’t care for his pushiness. After Nona tells him to leave the birds alone (and steals his lucky rabbit’s foot), she has a Vision of him being attacked by birds on the street. And as Jessica Lange said in her Emmy acceptance speech, the vision “came to pass.”
Meanwhile, Robert Buckley (pictured here fully clothed; I refuse to use his character name because he and I have a history) is still tormented by that hot blonde. To be fair, Lu seems a little too brittle to be much fun in the sack, and that blonde is rarin’ to go. Why else would she make a copy of Lu’s keys, come into Robert Buckley’s apartment while he’s clad only in a towel, and kiss him?
At a soirée thrown by Gavin and Olivia (to which Tony was pointedly not invited, but hey, it’s cool, he had other doorman-y plans), Jane and Henry field questions from neighbor Danielle Tyler (Mili Avital) about their marital status. Danielle is lookin’ for love with a desperation that seems endemic to any 30-something New Yorker on television. When a date stands her up, Gavin introduces her to a friend of his (played by Mike Doyle, in one of two guest starring roles last night; he was also on “The Good Wife”). They end up in bed together on their next date—“Do you want me?” Danielle asks, needily—but then he has to leave. His wife, y’know? Danielle, needless to say, does not take the news well. In fact, she stabs him to death.
Gavin rather abruptly appears on the scene and leads Danielle down memory lane. Turns out, she’s been here before: Over the last few decades she’s killed many a man, including one who appeared to Jane in one of her many dreams. This one, at least, was an enemy of Gavin’s. Looks like that bird-pecked man isn’t the only exterminator at the Drake! Zing!
After Gavin kindly tells Jane that the starlings remain where they are—which Nona already told her, but nobody’s gonna listen to that still-undetected petty thief—he also reminds her to clean up the mess in the basement. Before starring in an Alfred Hitchcock thriller, the exterminator had actually broken down that pesky wall, and now the door is open for Jane to step through. But then it slams shut and seems to lock her in! Oh no!
Next week, a hand grabs Jane’s ankle. Hopefully, it yanks her down and touches up her roots. Only Heather Locklear can make roots that dark work.