From Rebecca Welton’s power poses on “Ted Lasso” to Andy Sachs’ leveling-up makeover in “The Devil Wears Prada,” it’s clear that appearing like you have it all together is the first step to feeling like you do. Let’s dive into tips and techniques for looking and sounding more confident; practice them, and you might just find yourself feeling more confident in the process, too.
While actually being confident is #endgoals, creating the appearance of confidence is a great starting point—and can actually help convince you that you are, indeed, confident. As the father of American psychology William James put it, “If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.” That’s right: Fake it till you make it. If you want to seem more confident to others, you have to appear more confident—even if you don’t feel it right away.
How to Be Confident1. Project confidence with your voice.
Coming across as confident to your audience is a combination of how you sound and how you look. Strive to project your voice using the BAR technique, or ”breathe, articulate, and reach out with your voice,” according to voice coach Patrick Muñoz. “What [nervous people] can do is reconnect to their body and take a moment to slow down, use their articulators to communicate, and connect to intentions and to the other person,” he explains. With some practice, anxious performers and others can hone their vocal confidence, drop their nerves, and take up some auditory space.
2. Practice deep breathing.
Several breathing techniques can regulate your anxiety and give off the appearance of confidence. For basic deep breathing, stand, sit, or lay in a comfortable position with one hand on your chest and the other on your belly. Inhale deeply through your nose and down into your diaphragm, feeling your stomach expand into your hand before deflating as you breathe out through your nose. Practice this and other breathing techniques in your downtime so that you have them at the ready whenever the moment arises.
3. Slow down.
Speaking quickly and irregularly are obvious signs of nervousness, so try to keep yourself slow and measured. Practice breathing between sentences, using the brief pause to thoughtfully consider what you’ll say next. Articulate your words carefully and with control, getting comfortable with the occasional silence. Confident people recognize the contemplative power of quiet and know that not every single second needs to be filled with noise.
4. Avoid fidgeting.
Like quick, uneven speech, fidgeting signals to others that you might be anxious or disinterested. To keep still while standing, take a stance with your feet firmly planted hip-width apart, balancing your weight equally between both legs. Utilize breathwork and consider practicing meditation regularly to calm your mind and focus in the moment. Sugar and caffeine are common culprits behind jittering, so try cutting back to no more than about four cups of coffee (400 mg) per day.
5. Maintain eye contact.
There’s a fine line between creepy and confident when it comes to eye contact, but mastering this skill is absolutely vital to having a confident presence. Challenge yourself to remember your conversational partner’s eye color, forcing you to keep your (literal) eyes on the prize. If you struggle with eye contact, you can also focus on other parts of a person’s face for a similar effect. When you have an audience greater than one, change who you’re focusing on every few seconds.
6. Do power poses.
Power posing has been a mainstay in confidence-boosting since the concept was popularized by researcher Amy Cuddy in her immensely popular 2012 TED Talk, “Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are.” In the associated study conducted by Cuddy and co-writers Dana R. Carney and Andy Yap, the researchers suggested that holding a wide, strong posture for two minutes raises testosterone and lowers cortisol levels, leading to increased confidence. More recent reviews of the data suggest that it’s not the power poses that increase confidence, but rather that a more closed posture leads to more negative feelings overall. All that to say, you may not need to take up as much space as possible, but you should try to keep yourself from slouching and closing in on yourself, especially right before you want to feel your most confident.
Watch Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) make herself big on “Ted Lasso” to get an idea of the power of the pose.
7. Mirror body language.
When engaged in conversation, try to subtly mirror the body language of the person you’re talking to. Mirroring communicates interest, even though the person you’re mirroring only subconsciously registers what you’re doing. Mirroring is also deeply rooted to our emotional understanding of others, as Dr. Carol Kinsey Goman explains: When we see an emotion on someone’s face, we “subconsciously place [ourselves] in the other person’s ‘mental shoes’ and begin to recall and experience the same emotion.”
8. Invest in your appearance.
People who feel good in their bodies are naturally more confident, so incorporating exercise and self-care activities into your routine can help you boost your confidence and look good doing it. Even just 30 minutes of exercise a day is enough to reduce stress, improve mood, and boost self-esteem, leading you to look more confident naturally. Speaking of looking good: Get a haircut, buy some new clothes, or try out a new makeup style—whatever it is, don’t worry about fitting in with a specific aesthetic, but instead go for the looks that make you feel most confident and comfortable in your own skin.
See how Andy (Anne Hathaway) gains confidence through the power of a makeover in “The Devil Wears Prada” (2006):
9. Relax your face and smile.
Naturally happy faces exude confidence, so you can boost your confident appearance just by smiling a little bit more. Even if you’re not feeling it, the simple act of smiling can have a drastic impact on your mental and physical health. Numerous studies over the years have proven that smiling is linked to reduced stress levels, lower blood pressure, and increased longevity, among other health benefits. Some tips for appearing effortlessly confident in person and on camera include smiling with your eyes by slightly squinting them from the lower lids, relaxing your mouth and laughing a little, and flashing your eyebrows quickly up and down to soften any unintentional furrowing.
On “America’s Next Top Model,” Tyra Banks famously taught the world the power of smiling with the eyes, or the “smize,” to look confident and fierce: