In case you didn’t know, all the theater schools from around the country just finished showcasing their new graduates. These performances were held in both New York and L.A. and they were widely attended by the industry. Ivy League schools like Columbia and Yale attracted standing room–only crowds. And when the showcases were done, a lot of shiny, new actors found themselves facing an uncertain future with representation, management, and valuable new casting fans.
But this article isn’t about the deluge of thespians that are about to enter the crowded marketplace. No, it’s about what happened when I attended the Juilliard showcase.
The performance itself was outstanding. That place cranks out some of the best actors in the business. And when the fireworks were over, we all poured into the parking lot, comparing notes on our favorite scenes. And then we saw it. All our cars had been tagged! Not with graffiti, but with headshots and résumés that had been slipped under our windshield wipers. An enterprising actor who had nothing to do with Juilliard had discovered the location of the showcase, assumed there would be a ton of industry types there, and dive-bombed every car in the lot with her pictures. Unfortunately, the move backfired because we had just seen an amazing group of well-trained performers and she suffered by comparison.
Why would an actor do something so foolish? The answer is simple: She was suffering from T.A.B., or “Tacky Actor Behavior.” This is a disease that’s prevalent in the acting community. Sadly, there’s no pill you can take. The only cure is common sense.
A few years ago, I discovered one of my clients was suffering from T.A.B. He showed up at my office right before the holidays with a smartly wrapped Christmas present. This brought a smile to my face, but the smile vanished when I saw what was inside. The actor had given me a coffee mug with his face on it.
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Doctors believe this illness has been around for over a hundred years. The first reported case was back in 1914 on the set of a Keystone comedy. In an effort to get more attention, one of the extras dropped his pants during a take. He was fired on the spot and this man is now considered patient zero.
The sad part is most actors don’t even know they have the disease. That’s what makes T.A.B. so treacherous. It hides inside your body, waiting till the worst possible moment to make itself known. And by then, it’s too late. You’ve got full-blown T.A.B.
If you’re worried you might be a sufferer, try monitoring your actions when you’re doing anything related to your acting career. Here’s a quick test that might help:
After a workshop is over, do you cut in front of the other actors who are waiting to say hello to the guest? In class, do you always leave after your scene is done? When you arrive for an audition, do you ask the assistant to let you jump the line because you don’t want to be late for your next appointment? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be suffering from T.A.B.
But there is hope. I recently heard George Clooney is working on a cure. That man is a bastion of common sense and if anyone can lick this thing, it’s going to be the most respected actor in Hollywood.
Good luck, George. And Godspeed!
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