SAM’s Secret to Networking: More Honey, Less Vinegar

Greetings from Central America!

I decided to spend my holiday break this year at a monkey habitat deep in the jungles of Costa Rica. I’m writing this column from the porch of my hut, which sits right at the edge of the Osa Peninsula. The weather here is tropical, but not hot. I’ve got a ton of privacy. And there’s no cellphone reception. This is about as far from Hollywood as you can get.

Now, let’s talk about the monkeys. I’ve attracted a group of five furry friends who visit me on a regular basis. There are four species that are native to Costa Rica, and they all have distinct personalities. Some are curious and friendly, others are annoying and hostile. One of them, the white-headed capuchin, is needy as hell. I always give him extra attention.

Why does this seem oddly familiar?

Wait a minute—this is exactly like work. It seems familiar because these monkeys remind me of the actors I represent. They may all be part of the same group, but each one has a different personality that affects me in a singular way.

When I’m at the office, clients drop by all the time, and my inner monologue is different for each one. Here are my most common responses:

Response No. 1: “Oh, it’s you. I’m so excited and happy to see you! If I were a dog, my tail would be wagging and I’d pee all over the floor.”

Response No. 2: “Oh, no. It’s you. All you do is complain. I feel terrible when you’re here. Please leave immediately.”

READ: How to Network Like a Pro

Now ask yourself this: How would you like your reps to respond when you drop by for a quick visit?

As an agent, I understand that clients rely on me for access to opportunities. Their careers are in my hands. I take that very seriously, and I try to treat all of them with courtesy and respect. But there are some people in this world that just suck the life out of me. When they show up, I usually run to the bathroom.

So consider your words carefully when you interact with your agent. And by interact, I mean in person, on the phone, or by email. I hate to use a cliché, but you really do catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (I’m not sure why you would want more flies, but you get the point, right?) Your aim should always be to create a better working relationship. It doesn’t serve your long-term goals if you alienate the people who are supposed to help you achieve them. I’ve always believed it would be a blessing and a curse to see ourselves the way others do. We’re all decent people who mean well, but there are times when we fail to understand how our actions affect others—and that’s a shame. We could accomplish so much more as a team if we could just connect on a fundamental level.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I have five more days here in paradise, and I’m looking forward to all of them. I also have to consider how I’m going to confront the spider monkey that comes by every morning. She claims her age range is 5–10, but I’m just not buying it.