Nearly everyone has listened to a recording of themselves and thought, “I hate the sound of my voice.” If you’ve been a victim of leaving a cringey-sounding voicemail, don't let it ruin your goal of pursuing an acting career just yet. Disliking the sound of your voice happens for multiple reasons—and thankfully, there are ways to overcome it that don’t involve never speaking again.
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Disliking the sound of your voice is a common phenomenon that experts refer to as “voice confrontation.” This reaction is due mainly to expectation of how your voice will sound.
The process of hearing someone else speak is different than when you listen to yourself talk. When you speak, your voice's sound waves are transmitted through your body to reach your ears. As the sound travels internally, the sound quality differs from when it travels through air. When you hear a recording of yourself, you hear your voice's sound waves travel through air, which will most often sound higher pitched.
“It’s very common, but also able to be overcome,” says actor Brendan Hunter (“A Miracle on Christmas Lake,” “Fargo”). “The more we hear our voice how everyone else hears it, the wall/dislike in our mind erodes. With ongoing playback we have less and less ‘othering’ of the external voice. Remember this is how everyone else hears you, and while it’s different than our internal relationship, it’s the most known version of our voice and has always been the only way those around us have heard it.”
How to Make Your Voice Sound Better Psychologists Phil Holzemann and Clyde Rousey suggest listening to the emotions you relay as you speak might be what causes you to cringe at the sound of your voice. Not only are you faced with hearing your voice sound differently pitched, but you’re also faced with hearing yourself express personal emotions, which can make you feel vulnerable.
“More people need to tune their ears so they can adjust and come from power,” says actress Deborah Twiss (“Kick-Ass,” “Sapiosexual”). “People who don't like their voice usually detect their own weakness in it when they listen. They think it's the sound, but it's actually about the realization of self-perception.”
So, why do so many of us hate our own voices? It’s the reaction from expecting your voice to sound the way you normally hear it. This includes normal vocal emotiveness: the moment of voice confrontation. The good news is that there are ways to overcome this phenomenon.
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When you hear a recording of yourself and find that you hate the sound of your voice, you may feel like you never want to listen to yourself again. Instead of going with this unproductive behavior, strive to shift your expectations of what your voice will sound like. To acclimate to hearing your own voice:
Become accustomed to the sound of your voice
Like anything, the more you do something, the more you get used to it. Record yourself and listen to the recordings. The more you do this, the more familiar you'll become with the sound of your voice.
Pretend it's not you
People tend to be self-critical—particularly those in the public eye (and ear), like actors. This could lead to you hating your voice more because it's you than because of how it sounds. “Imposter syndrome is a harsh mistress,” says Barry Duffield (“Power Rangers Dino Fury,” “The War At Home”). “It took me a while to understand the value of stepping outside of yourself and using critical self-evaluation—learning from your mistakes without abject condemnation.”
One technique is to close your eyes and pretend someone else is speaking. Ask yourself if you would dislike this person's voice. What if this was a good person? Would you hate their voice? This can help change your perspective.
A Thriller Student Film Needs Talent + More Voiceover Jobs Focus on the things you're saying
When you're listening to yourself on a recording, you're likely hyper-focused on what you sound like because you're overly self-conscious. Instead of focusing on your voice, pay attention to what you're saying. If you recorded yourself answering a question, pay attention to how you answered it. Do you agree with the response you gave? Did you leave something out? If you're practicing a scene, focus on your objectives—if you delivered them authentically, for example—and consider whether you should try something different. If you do focus this way, you may forget about the sound of your voice by the end of the recording, which means you're making progress.
Work with a coach
If you're having trouble acclimating to your voice, getting professional help might do the trick. Working with a coach can help you get through the voice confrontation process and adjust how you perceive the sound of your voice. You can also learn how to change the sound of your voice, which could be helpful in different roles.
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Disliking the sound of your voice should not stop you from pursuing a career in acting or voiceover. Just like actors come in all shapes and sizes, voices come in all tones and pitches.
The following are reasons why you shouldn't stop from pursuing your career:
- Acting matters most. The sound of your voice isn't the only element in acting and voiceover work, which are mainly about the ability to deliver authenticity and emotions to connect with audiences. This should be your primary focus.
- Representation matters. There will always be a need for diverse roles and voices. Even if you hate the sound of your voice, directors may find it to be a good fit for the character they want you to portray. They may want someone with a higher-pitched voice for a comedic role, or a lower-pitched voice for a more serious character. If everyone’s voices sounded the same, audiences would lose out.
- Self-perception changes. “Hearing my recorded voice for the first time, I was shocked, even speechless,” says voice actor Laura Summer (“The Fighter,” “21 & Over”). “My voice was so different than I thought, and I didn’t sound like anyone else. It was all very confusing. Now, it’s actually worked out pretty well, this talking thing. I encourage you all to chatter away, make some noise, and see where it leads you!”
The more you practice, gain experience, and listen to recordings of yourself, the more you'll become comfortable with your voice—and you’ll see that it is not a barrier to your acting career.