It’s a common scene: You’ve made a post and it’s really taking off. You check the flood of comments and suddenly, boom! Someone’s decided to say something really nasty about you. Fighting the urge to throw your phone in a lake somewhere, you may wonder, “Now what?” Unfortunately, negative comments are a part of being on the internet these days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t handle them in a constructive way (no phone throwing necessary).
When we say “negative comments,” what are we really talking about? Most negative comments fall into one of two categories:
- Criticism: Critical comments take issue with something you’ve said or posted on the internet. Sometimes critical comments have a point; sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re worded respectfully, and other times, not so much. Regardless of intent or decorum, receiving criticism in a public forum can still hurt, even if the commenter might be “right.”
- Trolling: These focus on insulting your appearance or intellect (or both). In general, trolling comments are just negative for negative’s sake. Think the comments in Regina George’s Burn Book or anything Statler and Waldorf might yell at Fozzie Bear.
You might find negative comments anywhere, including on your latest Instagram update, a Throwback Thursday TikTok video, or a YouTube video you posted in middle school and can’t figure out how to delete. Regardless of platform and timing, negative comments can be annoying at best and legitimately distressing at worst. And you don’t have to be an influencer or frequent content creator to draw the attention of internet haters; it only takes one viral post to attract naysayers.
OK, so you’ve gotten a negative comment or four—now what?
1. Decide your next move.
If you get a negative comment, you basically have one of three immediate options: respond, ignore, or delete. While there isn’t a one-size-fits-all manual to decide which you should do, consider the following:
- Does the commenter make any legitimate points? While most negative social media comments come from jealous or bored bad actors trying to rain on your parade, occasionally, one may have a legitimate criticism of something you’ve posted. Although it may hurt to be called out for making a social media misstep, it’s always a best practice to own up to those mistakes, whether in a response to the original commenter or by deleting the post and apologizing in a separate, new one. Your internet presence is a reflection of you, and being gracious and admitting your mistakes will make you look better in the long run.
- Is seeing the comment more harmful than keeping the engagement? In the case of a comment that’s just negative for negative’s sake, you’ll want to do one of two things: ignore or delete. For example, if a person posts a GIF of someone rolling their eyes, you might decide to keep it. In this instance, the GIF reflects much more poorly on the commenter than it does on you, and ultimately, a comment is a comment. Conversely, if somebody says something mean about your appearance that’s going to upset you every time you scroll past it, it’s best to just delete, block, and move on. No amount of engagement is worth damaging your self-esteem.
2. Protect your peace.
While many of us in show business have spent years cultivating our thick skins, there’s a big difference between learning to deal with polite rejections and being subjected to name-calling at any given moment in a public fashion. It can be a lot, even for the toughest person out there. To avoid torturing yourself, don’t scroll though hate comments, don’t dwell on them, and take a step back if you need to. No level of internet fame is worth ruining your mental health over. Know when to take a breather, regardless of whether it’s just for a few hours or for an extended period of time, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist or mental health professional if it gets to be too much.
3. Keep perspective.
While it can be tempting to spiral after receiving a negative comment (and, fair enough, nobody likes to hear mean things about themselves), don’t forget who the source of the negativity is. Especially in the case of trolling comments, remember the old adage “hurt people hurt people” and move on. You’re creating interesting content; they’re sitting somewhere choosing to be negative. Don’t give them the same power over your psyche as you would someone whose opinion you actually respect.
4. Don’t feed the trolls.
Whether these people are doing it for attention or just the comfort of hiding behind a screen to say things they’d never have the guts to say in real life, they aren’t worth engaging with. While a clapback might feel good in the moment, you’ll likely never succeed in making them feel any kind of remorse, and in the meantime, by engaging with them, you may give them exactly what they want: a fight. It’s not worth it. Don’t give them the satisfaction and don’t waste your energy.
5. Report any harassment.
It’s one thing to be called a bad singer by a faceless Instagram account; it’s another to be legitimately cyberbullied. Anything that constitutes harassment—such as threatening language, violent undertones, or racist or homophobic language—needs to be dealt with, and you shouldn’t feel you have to deal with it alone. Most platforms make it easy to report inappropriate or dangerous comments (if needed, you may want to encourage friends to help report, too). If things continue to escalate, be sure to take screenshots and keep other documentation, and bring things to the proper authorities if needed.
6. Keep on keepin’ on.
Negative comments on the internet can be disheartening. But if you’ve just had your ego crushed and you’re looking for a silver lining, there’s hope. Engagement is engagement, and the algorithm doesn’t care if that engagement is positive or negative, just that people are watching and commenting. We’re not advocating making controversial content, but when life gives you lemons (or internet trolls), make lemonade.
Ready to brave the internet and become an influencer? Check out our callboards for just that here and here.
