To give or not to give? That is the question.
The holiday season has arrived and I have some great advice for you: Don’t even think about leaving your agents off your shopping list. Gift-giving is a time-honored tradition in the entertainment industry, so if you have representation, you must bring them some Christmas cheer.
And you don’t have to cash in your retirement account to do it. This is more about showing gratitude than spending money. Some of the best presents I’ve ever received were from clients who spent little or no money. But let’s start with all the things you shouldn’t buy.
Please don’t give your agents one of those massive food baskets that clock in at 60,000 calories. It’s a generic gift that’s as far removed from personal as Donald Trump is from common sense. And most of that crap will get tossed and forgotten.
You should also avoid anything that’s self-serving. Over the years, I’ve had clients give me coffee mugs with their headshots printed on them, wall calendars with monthly pictures of themselves, and one clown even surprised me with a T-shirt that said, “I represent…” and then his name.
(Yes, I know that buying your agent a present is in and of itself a self-serving act but that doesn’t mean you have to double down on the narcissism!)
The third gift you should avoid is anything having to do with charity. Everybody hates presents where a cash donation has been made in his or her name. And how would you even open that on Christmas morning?
(To be clear, I’m not against charity. I just prefer to choose my own, thank you very much.)
Now let’s move on to some mediocre ideas that aren’t very personal but will do in a pinch. Speaking for myself, I’m a big fan of gift cards, especially when they’re for a business I actually use; Starbucks, Whole Foods, and Amazon always make me happy. But hey, not all agents are alike. A great way to figure out what your reps like and don’t like is to chat up their assistants for information. Mine knows everything about me, even the dark stuff you can only find in the deepest corners of my soul.
Another boring idea that will work is a bottle of booze. But here are two warnings about alcohol. First, don’t buy wine if you don’t know anything about wine. I’m not a snob, but I will never, ever open a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. And second, make sure your agents aren’t in recovery, because if they are, you don’t want to surprise them with a bottle of their darkest demon!
Now let’s move on to the good stuff. The best possible present is something unique and memorable. So instead of buying me a box of stale cupcakes, surprise me with some treats you made yourself. Or how about a mix tape of holiday favorites sung by people like William Shatner and Zooey Deschanel? I even had two clients come in once and perform a holiday puppet show for the whole staff.
So knock back some spiked eggnog and get into the holiday spirit. My door is open. It’s time for you to play the role of a lifetime—my personal Santa Claus!
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