The following Career Dispatch essay was written by Gillian White, who stars in and executive produced the upcoming indie feature “Take Back,” which premieres June 18.
A skinny Black fifth grader with two pigtail braids, dressed in a homemade red and green clown suit and matching pointed hat, with greasy clown makeup on her face, enters from stage right and gets a standing ovation from the audience. Smiling brightly, she bows and does a “clown cartwheel,” still in character. With her heart pounding from that exhilarating response, she exited the stage and knew at that very moment this is what she wanted to do: act.
This Black Female Stunt Coordinator Is Changing the Industry From the Ground Up That was the defining moment that set me on this path I still travel on today. For the last 25 years, I have made my living in TV and film, acting in comedies, dramas, and commercials. However, it wasn’t until recently I stepped into a role I never considered: producing.
I am used to being “directed” as an actor; what to wear, where to stand, how to perform. I was so accommodating that even when I filmed a Sony Pictures feature film on which my husband was the director, I still said, “I hope they let me wear a different outfit” and. “I'm not happy with this hair, I hope they let me change it.”
My husband said, “I am ‘they’! Do whatever the hell you want! You’re my wife!” I realized then that my path would stay unidirectional. It was time for me to step up my game, my position, and my mindset.
A couple of years ago, my husband and I decided to get his western comedy project “The Outlaw Johnny Black” going. To get initial funding, we put our finances together to create a “trailer” for the film to garner interest. All of a sudden, I was wearing a lot of hats. I became the costume stylist, scouring thrift stores and going online for vintage western attire. I was the props department, searching prop houses left and right and renting 1880s props, with my husband and I also driving moving trucks to pick up all these items.
“I am walking on this new path, a long way from that little girl onstage dressed in a clown suit with greasy makeup.”
I helped cast the actors and found extras, including friends, family, and even our kids. I assisted with location scouts and handled accounting. We completed the trailer, had a massive campaign, and got all the funding; we just recently finished the film with a fantastic cast and excellent crew, making it the first film to be completed under our production studio, Jaigantic Studios. This unexpected journey gave me my first producer credit, which felt pretty damn good.
During the pandemic, I starred in my first action thriller called “Take Back,” with Mickey Rourke playing my nemesis. This role made me the first Black female lead in a martial arts action film. “Take Back” also put me in the position to make decisions and offer input during the filming process, which earned me my first executive producer credit.
I had stepped up my game, position, and mindset. I am not only an actor but a producer—and executive producer at that. I am walking on this new path, a long way from that little girl onstage dressed in a clown suit with greasy makeup, doing a cartwheel during a standing ovation, who only wanted to be an actress.
Sometimes, you have to create your pathway, and when you do, you better follow it wholeheartedly. Never limit yourself, and don't ever let fear or uncertainty prevent you from discovering new passions because if you do, you may miss out on that pathway to finding magic, your magic.
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