The Do’s And Don’ts of Being a Stage Mom

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Photo Source: “The Kardashians” Courtesy Hulu

Before Beyoncé was telling the world to “put a ring on it,” her mother, Tina Knowles, helped out by putting some bling on it. As the costume designer for Beyoncé’s girl group, Destiny’s Child, Mama Knowles raised visibility for the icon who would ultimately become Queen Bey—one bedazzled outfit at a time. But for every stage mom like Knowles who helped guide their child to success, there’s another one who crossed the line. In this article, we’ll explore the delicate balance of being a stage mom, helping you support your child’s dreams while keeping their well-being front and center.

A stage mom is a parent who is deeply involved in managing their child’s career in the entertainment industry. The term “stage mom” typically carries a negative connotation, suggesting someone who is controlling and sometimes exploitative; however, the reality is more nuanced. While some stage moms may indeed fit this description, others are simply dedicated parents who want the best for their children.

The key difference between a supportive parent and an overbearing stage mom often lies in intent and execution. A supportive parent will prioritize their child’s well-being and happiness, while other stage moms might focus more on career success, sometimes at the expense of their child’s mental and emotional health.

Notable stage mom examples

Throughout history, there have been countless examples of stage moms who have either helped or hindered their children’s careers. Let’s take a look at a few notable examples:

  • Tina Knowles (Beyoncé): The mother of singers Beyoncé and Solange, Tina played a crucial role in their rise to fame. She was a constant presence in Beyoncé’s career, in particular, from designing costumes for Destiny’s Child to managing the group in its early years. Tina always prioritized her daughter’s well-being and allowed her to make her own decisions as she grew older, making Tina a model of what a stage mom should be.
  • Dina Lohan (Lindsay Lohan): On the other end of the spectrum is Dina, the mother of actor Lindsay. Dina’s involvement in her daughter’s career has been widely criticized, with many attributing Lindsay’s struggles with addiction and legal issues to her mother’s mismanagement. Dina’s attempts to capitalize on her daughter’s fame, coupled with her failure to protect Lindsay from the pressures of Hollywood, serves as a cautionary tale for other parents.
  • Kris Jenner (the Kardashian-Jenner Family): Kris occupies a more ambiguous space. As the “momager” of the Kardashian-Jenner empire, Kris has been incredibly successful in turning her children into global celebrities. However, her relentless pursuit of fame for her family has raised ethical questions about the boundaries between support and exploitation. The impact on her children’s privacy and personal lives remains a topic of debate.

Do’s and don’ts of being a stage mom

Mom and daughter

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What to do as a stage mom 

  • Support your child’s passion. The most important thing you can do as a stage mom is to nurture your child’s genuine passion for performing. This means listening to their desires, encouraging their interests, and helping them pursue their dreams—without pushing them into situations they’re uncomfortable with.
  • Maintain balance. Show business can be all-consuming, but you must ensure your child has a well-rounded life. This includes making time for education, hobbies, and social activities outside of the industry. A balanced life will help your child stay grounded and prevent burnout.
  • Be your child’s best advocate! In an industry that can be harsh and unforgiving, your child needs an advocate. This means standing up for their rights, ensuring they’re treated fairly, and protecting them from exploitation. Whether it’s negotiating contracts or dealing with difficult situations on set, your role as a parent is to safeguard your child’s best interests.
  • Stay educated. The entertainment industry is complex and constantly evolving. To be an effective stage mom, you need to stay informed about industry trends, legal requirements, and the best practices for managing a child’s career. This knowledge will empower you to make smart decisions and avoid common pitfalls.

What not do to as a stage mom

  • Don’t live vicariously through your child. It’s easy to project your own unfulfilled dreams onto your child, but this can be harmful. Your child’s career should be about their aspirations, not yours. Resist the temptation to push them into roles or situations that reflect your desires rather than theirs.
  • Don’t ignore your child’s well-being. Mental and physical health should always come first. The pressures of show business can be intense, and it’s your job to ensure your child is coping well. This means recognizing signs of stress, providing emotional support, and seeking professional help when necessary.
  • Don’t micromanage. Trust the professionals you’ve hired—agents, managers, and coaches—to do their jobs. While it’s important to stay involved, being overly controlling can strain relationships and hinder your child’s development.
  • Don’t isolate your child. The entertainment industry can be isolating, but it’s important for your child to have a support system outside of it. Encourage friendships with peers who aren’t in the industry, and make sure your child has a network of people they can rely on for emotional guidance.

Being a stage mom is a challenging role that requires a delicate balance between support and overreach. Remember that the goal isn’t to raise a star—it’s to raise a happy, well-adjusted person who feels empowered to pursue their dreams on their own terms!

Author Headshot
Maggie Bera
Maggie Bera is a NYC-based actor with a BFA in musical theater from Texas State University. Off-Broadway: “Powerline Road” (BwayWorld Award Winner—Best Performer Off-Broadway), “The Baker’s Wife,” and “Helen on 86th Street.” Regional credits include Engeman Theater, TUTS Houston, Fireside Theatre, and Connecticut Rep. TV: Showtime’s “The Big C” with Laura Linney. Maggie is also the founder of Actor Aesthetic, an actor lifestyle blog, podcast, and online learning community. Proud member of Actor’s Equity and SAG-AFTRA.
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