Willard Manus apparently felt that Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues required a satirical riposte but then decided to expand the piece to serve as a "liberating force for men"—or so the program claims. How he talked John Aniston, John DiFusco, and Leon Morenzie into performing it is a mystery. It is staged in the same three-stools, three-music-stand style as the distaff version—but while Ensler's piece had a sense of celebration about it, this one has no idea what to do. Sentiments range from a group roar, "Down with circumcision!" to DiFusco spouting, "It ain't no fun having a wang dang doodle!" Now honestly, can you imagine any man this side of sexual reassignment therapy even thinking such a thing?
The script meanders, touching on topics such as masturbation (it's fun) and condoms (they're not). The works of various authors dealing with the subject are incorporated, sometimes successfully. There's a nod to Ensler's source material when the gentlemen discuss what their penis would wear if it were dressed up, etc., but that was pretty silly the first time out. There's even a section of naughty limericks that elicited chortles from the house, a group that was either being polite or had never encountered the "Playboy's Party Jokes" section of that magazine. I thought there was a glimmer of insight when Morenzie railed on how white latex condoms look ridiculous encasing black flesh, but then I realized, hey, they don't do anything for any skin tone—you just have to work with them.
In spite of the generally smarmy tone of the work, filled as it is with forced banter and perfectly icky educational interludes—in one, Aniston is required, under the guise of being a wacky German sex therapist, to not only answer pre-scripted questions from the audience but also to chuckle in a grandfatherly way while pointing out on a dildo where the frenum is so you'll know to pay it particular attention during fellatio—it must be said that Morenzie gives the work a gravity it doesn't deserve. He lends the text both dignity and salaciousness in equal measures. DiFusco gets his big moment reading from Ron Kovic's Born On the Fourth of July, and, while getting one's dick shot off for one's country is rather an extreme example of impotence, it might be nice if as a public service the speech were performed outside of military recruiting stations, as it's the one message an 18-year-old boy might listen to.
Director Louis Fantasia has paced the piece nicely, although I wish he'd just let the actors stay in their seats. The flow of the piece is aided admirably by Mark Baker's low-key lights and sound designs, which blend harmoniously with Judith Carr's equally subdued geometric set.
"The Penis Monologues," presented by and at the Odyssey Theatre Ensemble, 2055 S. Sepulveda Blvd., L.A. Thurs.-Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 7 p.m. Jan. 4-26. $12-20. (310) 477-2055.
