In the 1940s, a casting director at the American Negro Theater in New York City told a young actor: “You just get out of here and stop wasting people’s time. Go get a job you can handle.” The aspiring performer’s name was Sidney Poitier, and if he had listened to that advice he wouldn’t have gone on to become the first Black actor in history to win a best actor Oscar.
Moral of the story: Audition rejection can sting, but the people who succeed in this industry are those who bounce back and keep going. Below, we’ll break down the best ways to get through those 10,000 nos with your head held high.
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In the world of auditioning, no news is often the only news: If you don’t hear back, it means they went with someone else. While it would be great to receive closure via a direct rejection letter, casting directors may not have the bandwidth to notify every auditioner who didn’t get a callback or book the part. They are also not in a position to disclose why a role went to one performer over another. “Casting has huge quantities of admin, and time is tight,” casting director Louise Collins says. “So please don’t be disheartened if you don’t receive feedback.”
While a CD may not be able to tell you where they are in the process, fellow auditioners can help give you a better sense. Backstage’s community forums offer performers the chance to share audition updates with each other, including whether callbacks have gone out. Don’t lose hope if one performer got a callback and you haven’t yet. Set your eyes on the next audition and go crush that one.
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It is almost certain that for every role an actor books, they had many auditions that didn’t work out. “An acting career is a strange thing,” Los Angeles talent agent and Backstage columnist Secret Agent Man says. “You spend more time looking for work than actually doing it.” Just consider the numbers: If every person in an audition room is going in for the same job, all but one will experience rejection.
There’s no set rejection-to-booking ratio that an actor should expect. Acting coach Cathryn Hartt says you might land one gig out of every 10 to 20 auditions, or perhaps every 20 to 30. Denise Simon, another acting coach, puts those numbers in the hundreds. Their advice on reacting to rejection is the same: Don’t let a “no” stop you. “The more you audition, the more likely you’ll book one,” Hartt says. It’s the same in basketball. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?
Talent is important, of course—but so is resilience. “Success comes for those who keep going, don’t give up, and continue with confidence,” Simon says. This doesn’t mean actors need to enjoy hearing the word “no,” but being prepared for that reality will help you gain perspective and not lose sight of the real goal: that eventual “yes.”
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It’s important to remember that the vast majority of reasons why a casting director may have passed on you are completely beyond your control. Perhaps you were too tall or too short. Maybe you were too blonde or too brunette. Hell, perhaps you look like the CD’s partner and they just had a fight that morning. These are just some reasons you didn't get the part according to acting and audition coach Amy Jo Berman.
Tony and Oscar winner Glenda Jackson has heard arbitrary reasons why she hasn’t gotten certain jobs. “That isn’t personal,” she says, “but it’s very, very difficult not to feel that as a personal rejection.”
It may simply not have been the right character for you at the time. “It’s not because you’re a bad actor, or you’re a bad person, or you aren’t very good, or you’ll never get a job,” “Succession” star Sarah Snook says. “It’s just ‘no’ for the moment.”
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“We’re not defined by rejection,” Secret Agent Man says. “We’re defined by our response to rejection.” Don’t let that response hurt your chances in the future. Should you receive the courtesy of being informed of a rejection, thank the person for letting you know and do not push any further. While you may have nothing to lose, since you didn’t get the job anyways, an antagonistic reaction will only tarnish future opportunities.
A desire for direct feedback or notes for improvement is natural, but it is not worth putting someone in an uncomfortable position. Just as a negative exchange can have a negative effect, a positive interaction may keep you on the casting director’s mind when the next opportunity arises. “Sending a thank-you note after an audition (or after a role is booked) is smart and polite,” casting director Lisa London says. Small acts such as this indicate that you are not only talented, but also gracious and pleasant to work with—if not on this job, maybe the next.
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The best way to cope with rejection is to try to reframe the feeling of rejection and the act of auditioning itself.
Rejection is unavoidable, and it will most likely be frequent. With this in mind, consider setting a rejection quota for yourself. Acting coach and Evolving Artist creator Teri Wade’s quota method flips the script, turning rejection from a fear into a goal. “I suggest giving yourself a numerical quota, such as getting rejected 30 times per month, or 10 times per week, and recording your points,” she says. “When the goal becomes meeting your quota, you stay motivated and you keep going.”
Also, remember that by getting through the door and in front of the casting directors, you have already been given the chance to perform. Make the most of it. “Treat an audition as a chance to practice and gain a new experience,” actor Joanna Pickering says. Think of Cassie’s iconic “The Music and the Mirror” moment in “A Chorus Line.” She starts off by pleading to director-choreographer Zach for the chance to dance, but soon enough she’s not asking for permission to perform; she’s giving him an unforgettable, powerhouse demonstration of her technique. It’s her audition, but it’s still very much a performance.
These steps help actors achieve a state that actor Douglas Taurel refers to as thinking extraordinarily, or “the ability to experience failure and have the discipline to ignore it, move on, and immediately focus on the next audition or performance.”
“A Star is Born” Courtesy Warner Bros.
Remember when we said that for every role booked, there are many roles that got away? That’s also true for A-listers—before and even after their breakout successes. These now-famous actors failed at the start of their careers:
- Before “I Love Lucy,” Lucille Ball never aced top-tier movie auditions. She was known as “The Queen of the B’s” in Hollywood circles because she only booked B-movies.
- Meryl Streep was rejected by Dino De Laurentiis for 1976’s “King Kong.” The director called her ugly in Italian, not knowing Streep spoke the language.
- Lady Gaga only became a singer because no one would take her seriously as an actor. Her now legendary, oft-repeated quote from the “A Star Is Born” press tour says it all: “There can be 100 people in the room and 99 don’t believe in you, but all it takes is one.”
- Jim Carrey auditioned for and was rejected multiple times from “Saturday Night Live” before he was able to launch a successful comedy career.
- Scarlett Johansson auditioned for “Jumanji” but was rejected. The part went to Kirsten Dunst.
- Film executives told Harrison Ford he didn’t have what it took to be a star.
- Before he was a household name, Christian Bale lost out on the life-changing role of Jack Dawson in “Titanic.” Steven Spielberg insisted on casting Leonardo DiCaprio.
- Catherine Zeta-Jones was told she was “too old” for the lead role in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Aspects of Love.” She was only 19 at the time.
Remember, at the end of the day, you are a person—treat yourself like one. Grant yourself the freedom to feel all the emotions that come to you, but don’t beat yourself up over them. “The negative things that you say to yourself in your mind, you would never say them to your best friend, not ever,” says Lana Condor, star of the “To All the Boys” series. “Treat yourself like your own best friend and be soft and gentle to yourself.”